The Gift of God
by FrodoFever
Summary: COMPLETE Balian returns to France with intentions on staying there when Sibylla summons him back to Israel. Returning, Balian must choose the past or the fate of his future.
1. Chapter I: The Beginning

/I don't own anything you recognize in this story. /

Chapter One

"For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?" Matthew 16:26

The sun beat down relentlessly, its rays stretching to every corner trying to warm everything on the Earth. Sweat trickled down Balian's face, but that didn't stop him from going on about his business in the smithy. His life wasn't going to get any better than this, so why should he stop and complain about it?

In the distance, Balian caught several horses pounding down the trail. No doubt traveling to Jerusalem, or somewhere close to there. Pity they still had to fight to for Jerusalem; it was such a beautiful city. If he would have it, both religions would share it peacefully, but somehow, he knew that wouldn't happen.

As the horses came closer, the riders halted and climbed down. Balian sighed and stopped working and walked outside onto the steps. He was sure they were looking for him, why else would they stop here?

"We are looking for Balian d'Ibelin," one man called out to Balian, "do you know where he resides?"

Balian walked slowly toward the man and halted in front of him. This was going to be fun conversation, he was sure.

"You are looking at him," Balian stated confidently. "Do have anything you wish to say to me? I have work to do that needs tending to."

"Aye, and I'll make it quick at that," the man said. "I have a message from Sibylla of Jerusalem."

Balian gripped his hand into a fist. He hadn't heard from her in a long time, not since he left Jerusalem to come back to France.

"What news from her, kind sir?" Balian asked in a low voice.

The man glanced uneasily to his fellow men before looking back at Balian. Balian's eyes narrowed. This couldn't be good, but then again most people sending messages didn't really want to be doing the task.

"She wishes you to come back to Jerusalem, back to your estate that you have inherited from your father last year. She would like to see you again…sir," the man added.

"I have no business to be there. My business is here, in this town, to be a blacksmith. Nothing can amount to my life right here, where I grew up," Balian told the man.

"Aye, but she had also given us orders to take you against your will if you do not wish to come with us," another man still on his horse said to Balian.

"Is that so?" Balian fingered his moustache thoughtfully. She was determined at that to get him back to Jerusalem. He looked back at the riders. "How long will you allow me to gather my belongings and get my thoughts in order? I wish at least until morning to leave."

With a glance at his buddies, the man answered, "Fine, but no later than tomorrow morning at dawn. Are we clear, man?"

Balian nodded. "Sir." He turned and went back inside. He had a lot of things to accomplish before dawn tomorrow and visiting his late wife's grave was one of them.

After making sure his travel bags were set and his sword at his hip, Balian headed for the hill overlooking the sea. Finally reaching the huge monument, he knelt next to the grave and folded his hands as if in prayer.

To the passerby, it would have looked as if he were mourning, but in fact, he was doing more than just mourning for his wife. He was thinking about his father, with whom he had known only a brief time. He was also thinking about Sibylla, her brother, and the fight for Jerusalem. All of this happened in such a short time that now, looking back at it, it all seemed like one huge blur went past Balian like a whirlwind. And now, in just a short as tomorrow morning, he was going to revisit his past as quick as it had gone.

Looking at the cross on top of the monument, Balian murmured a quick prayer; only his lips were moving in swift motion with no noise coming out. Balian didn't seem to realize that there was a man watching him from behind.

"Did you know this woman?" the man asked.

Balian turned to look up at the man. He was disgusted that this man, one of the riders, had the nerve to come follow Balian up here and watch him in his personal time and space. Balian turned back to face the monument, his hands still folded and head bent slightly. His eyes looked up to the grave, no expression on his face.

"Yes, she was my wife." Balian slowly stood after several moments of silence and turned to the man. "She killed herself with poison several days after our first child turned out to be a stillborn."

The man crossed himself in sympathy. "I am sorry, I had no idea, really."

Balian clenched the man's arm suddenly and tightly. "Are you sorry, truly? You don't look it, not really. You look like all the other men who buried her and wouldn't allow me to watch her. They had no mercy and they chopped her head off before they buried her here. Don't preach to me about sorry."

Balian let go of the man and walked passed him, back toward the smithy. His time here was over—at least for the moment. He had to see what Sibylla wanted this time and he couldn't make her wait another moment longer.


	2. Chapter II: Travels

/I don't own anything you recognize in this story. /

Chapter Two

"To thine own self be true." –proverb

The thudding of the horse's hooves on the ground was steady, slow, and deliberate. Balian liked that sound—it was a comforting sound like the soft trickling of the creek over the stones. But at the moment, Balian's thoughts weren't on moving creeks or thudding hooves, they were on the road ahead.

The rider next to him—the one who first talked to him yesterday, was named John, a simple name, really, but he had mentioned earlier that his mother was very religious and named every one of her children after someone from the Bible.

"Are you alright?"

Balian glanced over at John, and snorted. "Of course I'm alright, why wouldn't I be?"

"You just seem to be deep in thought is all."

"Is thinking against the law now?"

John shrugged. "No, I guess I just like to know what everybody's thinking."

"Well, do you know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking that you're talking way too much for my liking." Balian touched his horse lightly and the horse started trotting off faster than he was already going to get away from everybody. He didn't know why he was being angry with John, he couldn't help it that he had to carry out Sibylla's orders, but Balian wished he had fought harder so he wouldn't have had to leave—so he wouldn't have to deal with this John.

As the day wore on, Balian's mood didn't improve. By the end of the day, Balian was sweaty, dirty, and in a terrible mood. As they set up that night, everybody stayed away from him, keeping their distance from the man. Who liked being around someone in a foul mood who wishes not to even be here on this trip?

The fire the men built sat crackling at the men settled down, either cooking or looking up at the stars, daydreaming. Not far off, Balian stood on his own, looking off into the oblivion. It was easy to get oneself lost into the night—the dark swallowing him up until he disappeared with nobody in the world to even notice or care.

"You feel like you could go on forever, couldn't you?" John asked, appearing suddenly at Balian's side.

"For some it might, for others, an endless sea of uncertainty—one of vast fears and obstacles," Balian murmured.

"Don't get all philosophical on me here, Balian, because I'm not going for it," John said.

"I wasn't trying to be."

The crickets chirped their songs in the distance, filling the night air. It was as if they couldn't stand having anything completely silent, not even at night. After several moments, John turned back to Balian.

"Balian, I, uh, wanted to ask you something. Do you believe in God?" John asked.

"He's certainly dealt me an Unfriendly Hand, if that's what you're asking," Balian said.

"I haven't asked you what He's dealt you, I was just wondering if you believed in Him."

"Figure it out yourself, isn't it obvious?"

"Do you know what your problem is, Balian? I think you are too bitter. Life's dealt you a bad hand and you drink it as if it were poison, but there's no way out of it," John commented.

Turning to John, Balian spoke angrily, "Oh, really? And I'm sure you can tell my future too, Master, what I'm going to be doing."

"Why can't you be more light-hearted?"

"Why can't _you_ be more serious?"

The two men glared at each other for several moments, breathing heavily and faces red. If looks could kill, both of them would have been dead and smoking. Finally John turned on his heel and headed back towards camp. He wasn't going to be seen being in company with this monster for another moment longer.

After watching him leave, Balian sat on the ground before lying back on the ground, his hands behind his head. He had a feeling that this journey was going to be a long one, and even at the destination, the journey will go on longer than that. Once again, he wondered what Sibylla wanted with him, but Balian knew it was no use trying to figure out what it was yet. Everything was going to be explained once he got there.

Nevertheless, it took several hours before Balian would finally fall asleep, dreaming of nothing until he woke in the morning to another long day of traveling.


	3. Chapter III: Awkward Meetings

/I don't own anything you recognize in this story. /

Chapter Three

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." –Isaiah 26:3

Sibylla tapped her hand on the brick wall impatiently. She had been standing at this spot every day for the past two weeks for hours on end, hoping that she'd catch a glimpse of the man that she loved and pined for the past year.

"My lady Sibylla?"

Sibylla turned slowly around to face her guard. She smiled painfully at him. He was always so worried about her, but she personally didn't care one way or another if anyone cared about her. Everyone except for Balian—the love of her life.

"What is it?" Sibylla asked sweetly. She always had to act strong for the people who looked up to her, or they'd never be able to complete their tasks.

"Are you alright? You seem a little sad," the soldier stated, his voice full of concern.

"No, I am fine. Please don't insult my intelligence," Sibylla exclaimed—perhaps a little too sharply, but she didn't care.

"If you are sure—" the soldier continued but Sibylla held up a hand and he fell silent instantly.

"I'm perfectly fine. Please don't worry about me, I'm just thinking about everything that I need to do today," Sibylla said.

This simple lie seemed to satisfy the soldier because he saluted her before leaving. Sibylla sighed and turned back to face the land, thinking. Was it that obvious that she was worried?

She couldn't help it, it had been days since she sent a small guard out to go find and fetch Balian from his exile in France. How many days does it take to go to France and back? Sibylla didn't know, but she hoped soon, because she had many matters to discuss with Balian. Like how to rule a disgruntled nation to live in peace and maybe someday to take back Jerusalem.

Sighing, she turned back around and began pacing back and forth on the wall. Nothing seemed to occupy her mind these days.

"Please hurry, Balian," she whispered to the stretch of land in front of her.

As if answered by some miraculous prayer immediately from God, Sibylla saw a shimmer of horses in the distance. Her heart skipped a beat. Balian couldn't be here this fast, could he? But then again, she knew nothing of the distances between countries.

"My lady Sibylla, a group of men are riding towards here on horseback. What will you have me do, lady?" a soldier nearest her exclaimed.

Sibylla turned and considered the man for several moments. It never seized to amaze her that there was always a soldier near her, ready to defend her if need be. It never really occurred to her as odd until now.

"Open the gate for them. I am sure it is the guard that I sent out for Balian," Sibylla finally answered.

The soldier nodded in agreement. "Yes, my lady." He then turned and began shouting orders for the gate to be opened for them to come in.

Sibylla watched for several moments before sweeping down a narrow flight of stairs to meet them. It would do no good for them not to have a proper welcome, or it would be considered rude.

She arrived at the gates just as the horses came thundering in, but slowed down as to not trample on anyone who were happening to linger around the gate.

"My lady Sibylla," a man from one of the horses exclaimed as he sidled down from his horse. The others with him followed suit, each making sure they had a firm grasp on the reins so the horses wouldn't run off.

Sibylla barely nodded to the man who spoke. "John. Have you brought him safely with you?"

John smiled and pulled off his helmet that he had been wearing. "Yes, temper and all."

From behind him, Sibylla caught a glimpse of her beloved Balian scowling at John's back and rubbing his horse's nose empathetically. Sibylla felt her heart skip a beat as she caught sight of him for the first time in over a year, but she mentally shook herself of the feeling. She couldn't love a friend.

"Giving my soldiers grief, are you, my lord Balian?" she asked smiling, stepping around John to stand in front of Balian.

Balian didn't necessarily scowl but he didn't necessarily smile either. Sibylla could feel her own smile falling from her face. She wasn't fully expecting this from a person that she sweated and bled with for so many months last year. But then again, she couldn't tell what a year apart could do to two people. She wasn't sure herself of seeing Balian again.

"I did as you asked, my lady Sibylla," Balian stated, "now you can bend me to your will as you've always done."

Sibylla stiffened. This isn't the Balian that she had come to know. But if he wanted to be that way, she'd play his game.

"Well, it's good to have you back, my lord Balian," Sibylla exclaimed, managing a smile. Turning to the soldiers she added, "Please show our guest to his room and help him get ready if he needs it and help him to the kitchens. We'll be eating soon."

"I know my way around my own land, thank you, my lady," Balian said coldly and headed off.

Sibylla exchanged looks with her soldiers. She could see what temper they had to go through on the journey back. But no matter, she'd deal with it soon enough.

"Make sure he fares well, anyway," she told them and without another word, she swept off to her rooms to get ready for dinner.


	4. Chapter IV: Requests

/I don't own anything you recognize in this story. /

Chapter Four

Staring sullenly out the window of his room, Balian watched the activity passing by. Too busy to look around them, the people didn't notice his quiet watchful stance. Even if they did notice and wonder whom this curiously dressed man in the window was, Balian wouldn't have cared.

A soft knock on the door to his room made Balian turn around in disgust. Who of all people wanted to come see him so soon after he arrived? No doubt Sibylla, but he was sure that even she would have the courtesy to leave him in peace for a few minutes.

As the door opened, a stout man entered the room and bowed to Balian. Balian barely nodded back in return, wishing for the man to say his peace and be gone. There were too many things on his mind without visitors dropping in as well.

"My lord Balian, my lady Sibylla has bestowed upon me to help you get ready for dinner," the man said breathlessly, eager to please the looming man before him.

"I can take care of myself, thank you," Balian stated simply. He wasn't going to allow Sibylla to control him so.

"I'm afraid you have no choice in the matter, Master Balian. I have my orders," the man said simply, apparently not afraid of anything.

Disappointed that he had no affect over the man, Balian turned back to the window, his thoughts wandering off into the unknown. How much time has passed, Balian didn't know, but when the man across the room cleared his throat loudly, it was enough for Balian to jump in surprise and disgust.

"My lord, mistress Sibylla wishes you to hurry in your dressing—she wishes to have a chat with you before dinner," the man said curtly.

Balian frowned. So is this the way she wanted to play, was it? Well, if that was the case…he shook his head disgustedly and walked away from the window and began to strip down to his smallclothes, conscious of being watched bluntly by the man, making sure that he did the lady's bidding.

Finally dressed, Balian turned to the man who was still standing at the door. The man was still staring at him curiously. Didn't the man know his manners when he was standing in another man's room?

"I'm ready, sir," Balian told the man.

The man nodded in satisfaction. "Very good, sir. Follow me, if you will."

Turning on his heel, the man walked out the room and Balian followed silently. After winding through the hallways and out into the courtyard, the man stopped suddenly with Balian nearly colliding into the back of him. Nodding towards a certain direction, the man smiled slightly.

"May I present you to the lady Sibylla?" he stated and stepped backwards, disappearing behind Balian.

Balian's heart raced as he spotted Sibylla standing serenely under a lone tree not far away. When she caught his eye, Sibylla gestured for him to come to her. Balian did her bidding and walked towards her, stopping just a foot away from her, gazing at Sibylla up and down.

"You are beautiful," he said softly.

And indeed she was. A light blue dress flowed gracefully down her body, narrow at the top and widening in a sweeping circle at her feet. A silver tiara was fixed in the center of her forehead with the gauzy netting resting down at the shoulders in the back. It was hard not to look at anything else as it paled in comparison to her.

Sibylla smiled graciously. "Thank you for the compliment, lord Balian. You look grand yourself. Shall we walk?"

She gestured towards the gardens where an occasional gardener was amongst the flowers, pruning flowers and pulling weeds. Balian nodded in agreement and soon they were walking side by side, not saying much but just looking.

After several moments of silence, Sibylla turned her face to Balian. "I've missed you so much this past year, Balian."

"Why should you, I am nothing much, my lady," Balian said stiffly, determinately looking at the flowers they were passing, trying not to stare at Sibylla.

"Haven't you thought of your time here, Balian?" Sibylla asked softly, "the time we spent together and the fights that we fought?"

"I've had business to tend to. I have no time to dwell on other matters," Balian lied. He didn't want to tell her that he thought about her and Israel every day since he was gone. It seeped into his thoughts and snuck into his dreams when he least expected it. How could he forget?

"I see," Sibylla said, her voice betraying the disappointment of Balian's answer.

"I only wish to be a blacksmith, my lady. Just a simple blacksmith, and no more. It is a noble position that I have, you see," Balian explained, trying to explain his exhilaration at making something out of nothing for others. What he didn't tell her was the other reason…the reason of staying in France, for his wife and stillborn child.

"But being a knight is a noble position, is it not? People revered you, Balian and yet you scorn it all," Sibylla persisted.

"I was born a blacksmith, not a knight," Balian stated firmly, "and nothing can change that."

"You were born a knight, Balian," Sibylla said just as firmly, "born to do great things. Are you going to allow your father's sacrifice be in vain?"

"If you call my someone that had been missing from my life for many years my father, then he has because I never knew him. Didn't really take the time to get to know his son, did he, until the very end?" Balian exclaimed angrily.

So this is it, was it? To bring him out of the depths of nowhere to try to keep him there in Israel and follow the footsteps of his father than he really didn't know? Well, Balian didn't want it, not at all. Balian didn't want to follow someone's footsteps when he didn't even know where they led. It was like trying to find footprints in the sand—to follow them wherever they led because the waters washed them away never to be seen by human eyes again.

"I cannot change your father's past, or yours. But you can change your fate, Balian. You don't have to be like this," Sibylla pleaded.

"Well, so what if I don't?" Balian muttered under his breath. This was going worse than he expected and apparently for Sibylla as well.

"Balian, there's something that I want to tell you," Sibylla spoke up timidly, "something very serious."

Balian grunted to show that he heard her. Whatever it was, it was best to get it over with.

"The people here are…uncomfortable about having a female ruler," Sibylla continued, "they are wishing for me to marry in sixth months time or they'll kick me off the throne. Unless I find someone worthy of the throne and marry him, I will be thrown off and scorned wherever I go. I wish to marry you, Balian. You are worthy and would be a sound ruler."

Balian scowled. "So this is why you hastened for me to come here and at the pain of death so you could marry me and keep your precious throne? I'm not doing it. As much as I care for you, I'm sorry."

"But Balian—" Sibylla pleaded.

"I've made my choice." Balian turned and headed back the way they came from. He was going straight to his rooms and packing his belongings and going home where he belonged. Back to being a blacksmith and his bittersweet memories of his dead wife; it was a very tempting prospect.

"At least think it over," Sibylla called after him.

"I will think it over but it's not going to change my mind," Balian called behind him and soon disappeared in the distance with Sibylla standing still with tears running down her face wishing it turned out differently.


	5. Chapter V: Ready Yet Unwilling

/I don't own anything you recognize in this story. /

Chapter Five

Sitting on his bed, Balian stared at his packed bags, ready to go yet unwilling to leave. Something was holding him back from just getting up and leaving. It couldn't be that difficult, could it?

Falling onto his back, Balian stared at the ceiling reproachfully. He loved Sibylla that was for a fact. But why did he feel so resentful about staying here, in this place where his father so lovingly cultivated for all those years? Balian didn't know, but to him the whole place felt like a prison; a place where he had to be forced to be like his father and live up to his honor and potential. If his father has wanted Balian to grow up to live for being the glorified and honored knight, then why didn't he stay and help raise Balian himself? Or better yet, take the boy with him to his travels to his land in Israel and teach Balian everything he knew?

Balian rolled over to his side to stare out the window at the daily business that the people were doing, not really seeing anything. His father would have encouraged him to marry Sibylla and take up the throne. But was that the right choice? Was there an alternative?

Someone at the door knocked, bringing Balian out of his reverie. He sat up wearily, wondering whom it possibly could be. Didn't they understand a man's urgency for rest and thought? At the rate they were going, surely not.

"Come in," Balian called out, not bothering trying to hide the weariness that escaped into his voice.

The door opened and to Balian's disgust, John came in and closed the door silently behind him. Striding over to the desk that was in the corner of the room, John pulled out the chair and sat down, crossing his legs and studied Balian's face.

"So," he said simply.

"So what?" Balian asked warily, not wanting to play games with the soldier.

"I heard about your little episode in the gardens, Balian. That was a smart move, lad, upsetting lady Sibylla," John said quietly, "I suggest you go see to her immediately and make apologies."

"I make apologies to no one," Balian growled. "What part about that is so hard to understand?"

"Oh, I don't believe that about you, Balian. I believe you want to apologize and forgive, but something terrible in your past has happened and you are unwilling to do either because the pain is so great," John said simply, "am I right?"

Balian instantly thought of his wife, dead and buried back in France. Thoughts of the stillborn child and her unwillingness to move on was so great that she killed herself was so great that Balian couldn't dwell on the subject without feeling a lump grow in his throat. He quickly pushed the memories to the back of his brain before grief could fully overtake him.

Balian shook his head in denial. "No, nothing of that sort. I have no such experiences."

"Don't lie to me, boy, I can see it in your face and it is etched in everything you do. Come, now, what is it that makes it so hard for you to move on?" John pressed.

Balian glanced at John from the corner of his eye. How could this man know Balian so well so that he could see what pained him so? Balian didn't know and really didn't care. But the thought that the man could sense Balian's thoughts and actions so accurately was disturbing. Maybe he should get a priest—but then he his faith was so small and dwindling that it would be a sin to bring a man of God to do the bidding of someone who didn't believe in God.

"I don't know where you're getting your information from, master John, but I can assure you that wherever you're getting it from is not accurate," Balian said coldly.

"Deny it as much as you will, Balian, but nothing you can do will change your past and you have to move on, to face the future like a man," John said. "I must go, I have duties to tend to."

Standing, John headed for the door. Just as he was about to open the door, Balian had a sudden urge to ask the older man's advice. He didn't know any other who would give him truer advice to follow.

"It's just that I don't know what to do. How can I do one thing but my heart says another? What should I do? What would _you_ do in my place, John?" Balian called out suddenly.

John stopped and turned around to study Balian's face quietly. Balian shifted on his bed nervously, wondering what the man was thinking.

"I have no more idea of what you should do than yourself, Balian. What I would do in your place would be entirely different to what you would do yourself. Follow your heart and put your trust in God, Balian, and you will find your answer," John said quietly.

Before Balian could say anything more, John swept out the door and disappeared down the hall to who knows where. Balian cursed softly. Why did people have to speak in riddles? They were so hard to fathom out at times. And put his faith and trust in God? What has God done for him? Nothing but pain and hard times and that basically summed his life up.

Standing up, Balian headed for the door. There was only one way he could sort things out in his mind rightly and that was putting himself to the task of working. It always helped out in the end.

Heading for the door, Balian gave one last glance towards his small baggage. Hopefully he'll be able to sort things out before the day's end. If not, only time would tell when his decision would be made up. But he'd cross that bridge when he got there. Balian turned and left the room, disappearing slowly down the hall. Only time would tell.


	6. Chapter VI: Sadness of the Heart

/I don't own anything you recognize in this story. /

Chapter Six

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." –Romans 5:3-4

Standing at the window in her suite, Sibylla dully looked at the passerby. It was hard to believe this whole place was just one man's land and not just a small town going about their daily business. Hearing the door being opened, Sibylla turned away from the window and went to her desk, hoping to dissuade the curious that her mind wasn't on her work.

As the person entered, Sibylla noticed that it was her servant, Ailis. Sibylla inwardly sighed with relief. The girl wouldn't question her actions like any good servant was trained to do. As the servant came closer, Sibylla noticed that she was carrying a small tray filled with food and drink. Someone must have noticed her lack of going down to dinner and fixed her food automatically and sent it up.

"My lady, your dinner is served," Ailis stated and set the tray on the edge of Sibylla's desk and curtsied politely.

"Thank you, Ailis. I don't know how you people know that I want dinner brought up to my room," Sibylla exclaimed, giving the girl a small smile.

"One presumes that you would like something to eat since you've missed dinner yet again," Ailis said simply, "we miss seeing you out and about."

Sibylla sobered quickly and frowned. How long has it been since she left the room that she came to call home? Days, weeks? She had long since stopped counting the days ever since Balian's proclamation that he wouldn't marry her no matter what the circumstances. A lump arose in Sibylla's throat just thinking about it.

"I miss being out and about, as well, but I have many things on my mind and things to tend to, Ailis. I can't risk leaving it for a second in case it piles up on me," Sibylla stated, hoping that Ailis wouldn't question her.

Much to Sibylla's disgust, the servant girl did. "But my lady Sibylla, you've been in this room for over a week. Even the highest nobility needs to get away from it all every now and again. Not even your brother locked himself up in his room despite every reason for it."

Sibylla sat thoughtfully. She hadn't thought of her dead brother in a long time. Well, maybe not _that_ long ago. Maybe not since Balian came, but still. She had a sudden wish that her king brother never got leprosy and that he never died.

"I'm sorry for bringing up your brother, my lady. It was out of my place to mention it," Ailis stated. "Please excuse me, I am needed elsewhere."

Sibylla watched the servant girl leave miserably, completely forgetting her dinner that was brought up. So many things were clouding up her mind that she didn't even know where to begin and the sudden reminiscence of her dead brother didn't help much.

Standing suddenly, Sibylla crossed the room and headed outside. She needed to talk to somebody and she knew exactly the person she needed to talk to. Crossing the courtyard, Sibylla asked the guard in front of the barracks for John.

"I would do that, surely, my lady, but he just went out for the day. Would you have me leave a message for him?" the guard asked.

"No…no, thank you. This is too urgent to leave a message. I need to see him immediately," Sibylla said distractedly, "do you happen to know where he went today?"

"I do believe he went to the practice rings today, madam. Would you like an escort?" the guard asked.

"No, that won't be necessary, sir," Sibylla exclaimed, "but I would like the company, if you will."

"Very good, lady," the man said and fell into step beside Sibylla.

Sibylla walked on, hardly paying any attention to the guard beside her. She was too preoccupied to get to have a light conversation with the man.

"I hear that the lord Balian is practicing there today," the guard said suddenly, "I hear he is very good."

Sibylla stopped cold. Balian was going to be at the practice rings today? This was what Sibylla had been dreading for over a week now—a meeting with Balian. She couldn't stand seeing the man that would never be hers within a few feet away from her.

"Is he indeed," she muttered. "We'll just have to see about that, won't we?"

"The woman he marries will surely be a blessed woman," the guard said, "he's everything a woman dreams of, I hear."

"Indeed," Sibylla said and hurried on, wishing fervently that the guard hadn't said anything about Balian. Well, there wasn't any way around it now; she'd just have to pretend that he wasn't there.

Leaning against the fence pole, Balian looked around him silently, not caring that the sweat was pouring down his face and trickling down his neck and into his sweat soaked shirt. It was barely noon and the air was already pulsing with heat and humidity. One had to make do when he had to live in the desert.

His practice partner for that day was John, much to Balian's bitter disappointment, but there hadn't been any one else there at the practice rings at the time. Glancing at the man, Balian watched as John took a wet cloth from one of the serving girls whose job were to give the men water and clothes if needed and washed his face vigorously. These men were too well pampered, Balian thought.

John caught Balian watching and grinned. "It's mighty hot out here, Balian, why don't you get yourself a wet cloths. These girls will get one for you if you wish it."

"No, thank you, indulgence spoils the mind and softens the heart," Balian said simply.

"Is that so?" John walked over and sat on the second rung next to Balian. "You have some strange ways, man."

"A simple upbringing brings simple practices," Balian said, quoting what his mother had drilled into him every day of his life.

John chuckled softly and ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't know, Balian. I just can't figure you out."

_And I hope you never do_, Balian thought bitterly.

As Balian stood looking over the land, he noticed to figures hastening towards the practice ring. As they came closer, Balian felt his body stiffen. It was Sibylla and one of the guards. Surely she hadn't come to talk to _him_, the two of them had been avoiding each other since that moment in the gardens when he said that he didn't want to marry her.

But as she came closer and her figure came into sharp focus, Balian felt his pulse quicken and he took in a sharp breath. She was even more beautiful than when he last saw her over a week ago. Maybe he should make amends; maybe he should apologize and say that he really DID want to marry her…

Seeing her haughty face as she came closer, Balian's quick romantic thoughts dissipated as quickly as they came. She looked like she wasn't as near as forgiving about what happened as he was. Balian frowned bitterly. Silly woman, why was she so stubborn? There were plenty of other men more worthy of her than he, yet when he tried to leave, the guards has thrust him back, saying it wasn't time for him to leave just yet.

Finally stopping next to the fence in front of Balian and John, Sibylla looked at both of them quietly. When her gaze rested on Balian, she gave no look of recognition that she ever met him before. That suited Balian perfectly well, he didn't want to have a conversation with her just yet.

"Sir John, I wish to have a chat with you," Sibylla said loudly and clearly, as if wanting Balian to hear every word that she said.

"Now, my lady?" John looked surprised, but to Balian, he didn't think that the man should've been surprised. Every night was supposed to act as if they were waiting for appointment at just that moment no matter how unexpected the confrontation was.

"Yes, John, and I need to chat privately, it's for your ears only," Sibylla said coldly.

John grinned, stood and bowed to the woman. "As you will have it, my lady Sibylla."

"Good." Sibylla turned to the guard that was with her. "Thank you for walking with me. Your services are no longer required."

The guard bowed. "It was my pleasure, my lady."

Sibylla didn't pay attention to the guard's comment and turned back to John. "Are you ready?"

"As ready as you are, my lady," John said and hopping over the fence, followed Sibylla, the two of them disappearing into the distance as quickly as the lady had come.

Balian gritted his teeth. He hadn't really expected her to be nice, but surely she could've said something to him. But no matter, if that's the game she wanted to play—then he'd play along with her. Hopefully before too long she'd realize that he didn't want to be king and find someone else worthier of her time and energy.

He was just standing and getting ready to leave when the guard that came with Sibylla spoke up.

"I take it that you are Balian d'Ibelian? I've been longing to make your acquaintance, sir, I've heard so much about you," the man exclaimed, his eyes shining eagerly.

"Well, you've made my acquaintance, then," Balian grunted, the man reminding him strongly of the man that had come to make sure he dressed the first time he came here.

Balian climbed over the fence and began to walk away, already forgetting the guard and thinking of other things that he had to do. One surely was the cultivating of the crops and then maybe going around inspecting that the walls didn't need fixed anywhere. Maybe even after that to make sure the workers were treated well.

"If you need anything, anything at all, my lord—" the guard called after Balian.

"I'll be sure and let you know if I need anything," Balian called behind him.

_These men are too eager to please_, Balian thought as he walked back up to his room to get cleaned up. _You would think they didn't have anything else better to do._

When he reached his room, Balian noted a tub of hot water ready and waiting for him. Someone must have seen him coming back up to the building.

Stripping his clothes, Balian stepped into the tub and sunk deep into the water. It was so relaxing on his sore muscles. Balian smiled softly. Perhaps his priorities would wait for another day. He had been working too hard since he came here; it was time for him to reward himself for all the things that he'd been doing to make the place more livable.

Grinning, Balian sat up and began scrubbing himself thoroughly. His duties would wait for another day.


	7. Chapter VII: Unexpected Advice

/I don't own anything you recognize in this story. /

Chapter Seven

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the sons of God." (Matthew 5:9)

John studied Sibylla silently as the two of them walked. The woman seemed to have a million things on her mind and he desperately wanted to know what it was but he knew better. She would say what was on her mind when she was ready to tell whatever it was. For John, that was fine with him, as long as he could be in the presence of lady Sibylla.

Finally stopping at a particularly high spot, Sibylla turned to John. John, sensing Sibylla's urgency, stopped to, both of them watching each other in quiet regard.

"What is it that you wish, my lady Sibylla?" John asked finally, breaking the silence.

"I wanted to ask you for some advice, John," Sibylla said.

"Ask away, my lady," John exclaimed, his thoughts reeling with what the woman could possibly ask advice of him for.

"I was wondering how a person can love someone so deeply, but love them enough to let go," Sibylla said.

John stared at Sibylla. "My lady?"

"I am sorry, I should explain myself, but there are so many questions on my mind that I do not know where to start or how to phrase them," Sibylla exclaimed, beginning to pace back and forth.

John watched her quietly, somehow knowing that this conversation was going to be about her and Balian. Somehow he knew that the weeks were going to lead down to this—what else could it be?

"Take your time, my lady, I darst say we have all the time in the world at our fingertips," John stated.

Too late, John realized, that he said the wrong thing as Sibylla whipped around to face him, a look of fury on her face. He wasn't surprised, though, everything seemed to give Sibylla a temper lately, or so he heard.

"No, we don't have any time, John. _I_ don't have any time, don't you understand. _I_ have to find myself a man before sixth month's time or it's goodbye Sibylla. No more my ladies or how can I help yous have that," Sibylla spouted.

John nodded modestly. "I am sorry, my lady, I spoke out of turn. It was quite bold for me to say and I hope that you disregard what I said."

Sibylla glared heatedly for several moments before continuing on. "It's just that I love someone, John, but he doesn't love me back, and I don't know how to let go of what we had or to say goodbye—to him and the wishful dreams that I thought we had together."

John gave a small smile. "I see." He twirled his thick moustache thoughtful. "How do you know that he doesn't love you back?"

"Because he said so to my face that he does not wish to be with me!" Sibylla exclaimed.

"Maybe you just misunderstood him, my lady," John said, grinning broadly now, "maybe he didn't want to jump before he looked, as it were."

"What do you mean, John?" Sibylla begged, "I don't understand."

"Neither do I, lady Sibylla. Perhaps a little jumping the sword perhaps?" John stated. "I assume the man in question is someone that you haven't seen in quite a while?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact," Sibylla exclaimed and John noticed a slight reddening in her cheeks. "Circumstances have kept us apart for quite a while."

"Well, then, there's your problem, my lady. You two haven't seen each other in a long time and assuming things were the same as always, you pronounced your love for all the world to hear and the man, having not sorted out his own thoughts reacted in a fit of rage because you just stated what he'd been trying to piece together for all this time and there you have it," John said excitedly, pleased at Sibylla's shocked face.

"For certain?" Sibylla asked, "or are you just saying all of this for a dramatic effect?"

"My dear lady, have I ever lied to you? I've seen situations like yours many times and understanding my sex quite well, I can assure you that my answer is quite sound," John said, smiling profoundly.

Sibylla smiled broadly and suddenly leaped into John's arms and hugged him tightly, much to John's surprise.

"Oh, you're such a sweetheart. Remind me to give you a pay raise," Sibylla nearly shouted, giving John a kiss on the cheek.

"Yes, my lady," John said, giving a slight hug.

Pulling away, Sibylla smiled up at John and hurried away into the distance. Watching her leave, John shook his head in amusement.

"What a way some things turn out," John muttered to himself.

Turning away from his stance, John started down the hill. He had chores to do and nothing in the world could stop him from doing them.


	8. Chapter VIII: Sibylla's Triumph

/I don't know anything you recognize in this story. /

Chapter Eight

"Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth." –Proverbs 27:1

The early morning rays slanted in through the window. Squinting slightly, Balian rubbed his eyes and sat up. He hadn't gotten back to his room from the practice rings until an hour past dark and even then he couldn't get back to sleep, his thoughts swirling about what Sibylla could've possibly wanted from John. Like he could've cared—the knight leaving was a blessing for Balian. But yet he couldn't get Sibylla from his mind about what she could've possibly wanted.

Stretching his arms above his head, Balian stretched until his arms hurt and then let them fall before getting up. He would much rather stay in bed, but the farm didn't stop for minor complaints from its owner. Too bad it couldn't take care of itself for a change. At least today he'd be able to start on his projects—supplies from a nearby town had come in late yesterday afternoon, as a messenger had so well informed him.

A loud pounding from the door nearly sent Balian to the ground in shock. Regaining his composure, he quickly pulled the clothes he'd worn yesterday and called for whoever it was to come in. He still wasn't used to messengers coming and going at all hours of the day and night despite the many weeks that he'd been here already.

"Sir—you are required in the lobby. Somebody wants to talk to you and they can't wait," the boy said breathlessly, bowing at Balian.

"Obviously they have no courtesy for a man's peace," Balian muttered to himself but quietly followed the messenger out the door.

Reaching the lobby, Balian caught one glance at who it was and groaned. So much for thinking it was an emergency.

Sibylla smiled softly walked gracefully towards Balian, coming to a stop just in front of him. Balian said nothing, just watched her warily. Surely she wasn't going to continue to pursue Balian's decision. After all, he had made it clear that he would give her his decision when he reached it and he hadn't even come close.

"My lord Balian, it's been quite a while since we last talked," Sibylla exclaimed, smiling and curtsied slightly.

"Not that quite long ago, my lady," Balian said, wondering why she was being so formal.

"Yes, but both of us have been so busy that it seems _ages_ since we last talked," Sibylla stated, "and I would've stopped to chat yesterday, but I needed a talk with John and you yourself was too preoccupied that it just wasn't possible."

"I understand, Sibylla, but why do you want me here? I have so many things to do and they probably won't be finished today—perhaps not for several weeks," Balian said.

"So serious," Sibylla smiled, "don't you ever take a rest?"

"Work before play," Balian said simply.

Sibylla lightly traced Balian's shoulder down his arm, stopping at his elbow and fingering his wrinkled shirt. Balian immediately wished that he'd taken the time to put some clean clothes on, no matter how urgent the matter was. He would've looked better in Sibylla's eye if he did. _Stop thinking such thoughts_, Balian thought, _you don't love her any more than a brother would have._

Gazing up at Balian's face, Sibylla smiled again. "Work tires the heart and wearies the mind, but play rejuvenates and gives fresh hope."

"As you will my lady," Balian eyed her wearily. Why couldn't she just leave him alone and let him get back to work instead of playing with his mind and confusing the thoughts he so carefully pieced together?

"I've…come to ask you for a request, my lord Balian," Sibylla exclaimed heavily. "I need a day away from this place, yet I cannot spare my guards or anybody else here. Their work must go on. But I know that you're the only one who can come with me and watch over me so no harm will fall upon me, if you will, Balian."

"I cannot spare any of my time either, my lady Sibylla," Balian said, thought inwardly he was screaming _do it._

"Oh, but Balian, I really wanted to go _today._ I really must go today before I pine and wither away to not," Sibylla smiled her tantalizing smile.

Balian's mind went slack, though part of him was still denying anything. "Sibylla, I—"

"Good, I'll allow you an hour's worth while you get ready and I have the stable boys get two horses ready. We cannot allow you to waltz about in day's old clothing."

With that, Sibylla whisked away from the lobby, leaving Balian with staring after her. As his senses started coming back to him, Balian began beating himself up mentally.

"Stupid git," he muttered to himself, "why couldn't you have put stood up for yourself instead of placing yourself on the stake? She's manipulating you and probably will get what she wants in the end, no doubt. Now you have no choice but to be her escort to wherever she wants to go."

Sighing, Balian headed back to his room to change clothes. Day's old clothing indeed. If she thought these were days old then she hasn't seen nothing yet.

"I'll show her," Balian assured himself and reaching his room, went inside to see what he could find.


	9. Chapter IV: Proclomations

/I don't own anything you recognize in this story. /

Chapter Nine

Balian stood restlessly by the front gates of the land. Fifteen minutes ago a messenger brought up word from Sibylla to meet her there and fifteen minutes later, here he was, doing at the lady bid. He was still contemplating on where Sibylla could possibly want to go when she came up the walk with John as her escort and two stable boys leading two horses with packs on. That could only mean one thing and Balian didn't like it all.

"Lord Balian," Sibylla exclaimed, curtsying slightly.

Balian bowed slightly to show respect. "Lady Sibylla."

Sibylla smiled happily, showing that she was pleased with Balian's curtsy. Balian wished he couldn't have cared less at her pleasure, but deep inside he felt a twinge of happiness that he had pleased the woman. He immediately felt guilty, knowing the vow that he made not so long ago.

"Are you ready then, Balian?" Sibylla asked.

"As ready as you are, my lady Sibylla. If I may be so bold, why are there packs on the horses?" Balian asked.

"Oh, _that_," Sibylla gestured carelessly, "I feel so restless that I'll need a day away from it without worrying about coming back, so we're not coming back until the morning."

Balian shifted nervously. "But my lady, who's going to run the farm while I'm gone and do what needs to be done?"

"Hasn't run quite swell in the past year without you here, lord Balian?" Sibylla asked and walked over to the first horse, allowing the stable boy to help her swing over the top of the horse.

Balian looked at her reproachfully, but climbed on when Sibylla stared back and nodded to the other horse as if to say "don't keep me waiting". After Balian sat himself comfortably on top the black stallion, Sibylla looked down to John.

"Don't expect us until about midday tomorrow, John. I'm sure you know what to do if I don't come back by then," Sibylla exclaimed.

John nodded. "Yes, my lady. How could someone forget a lady as beautiful as you so easily?"

Sibylla said nothing but Balian caught a twinkle in her eye before spurring her horse onward with a wave of her hand to John and the stable boys. Balian sighed and followed after her. It would do no good to protest, she already made up her mind.

Several hours later after plodding along silently, Sibylla finally reined her horse in by a stream with Balian stopping wearily beside her.

Sliding off the horse, Balian flopped exhaustedly under the tree followed by Sibylla. He could sense that she was watching him, studying his every move, but Balian made no move or gesture that he noticed. It was the mark of a good man, or so they said back home.

"What are you thinking, Balian?" Sibylla asked finally, "what's going through that head of yours?"

"My thoughts are my own, my lady," Balian said simply.

"But surely you must be thinking _something_," Sibylla insisted.

_I am, but I'm not going to be telling them to you,_ Balian thought.

"You know, I'm really sorry about everything, Balian," Sibylla said.

"You don't have to be sorry about anything, Sibylla."

"I know, but I just dragged you all the way from France against your will and then asked you right up front that I wanted you to marry me because of my circumstances and that you'd make a good king and didn't allow you to gather your thoughts about anything. I should've handled it differently. I'm sorry," Sibylla exclaimed, eyes brimming with tears.

All of a sudden, the wall that Balian had been building around him since traveling here crumbled to the ground. He felt like a total idiot and wished he hadn't acted as such. Gathering her in his arms, Balian pulled Sibylla close as she sobbed into his shoulder.

"It's alright love, don't fret," he whispered softly, "it's not all your fault. Part of the blame is mine. Most of it if you wish to put the burden on my shoulders. Please don't cry."

Sibylla continued to sob. "B—but Balian, you don't understand. When they told me that I had six months or I'd be cast into shame, I began to panic a—and all I could think of was you and that you'd be my knight in shining armor and that I had to go and fetch for you as fast as I could and marry you. I—I wish I could handle it differently so that you wouldn't have hated me now."

"Oh, Sibylla." Balian pulled her away gently and brushed the hair tears away from her eyes. "I don't hate you. I just had too much emotion built up inside me is all and you asking me to marry you just kind of exploded the whole thing. But I _do_ love you Sibylla and I don't think I could live without you anymore. I don't want to lose another person I love in my life."

Sibylla smiled and gave a small laugh through her tears. "You're too sweet."

Balian smiled back. "I try my best."

Suddenly Sibylla stiffened and Balian looked at her curiously. _Now what is it?_ Balian thought desperately, _**Now** what did I do?_

"Sibylla?" Balian asked, "What's the matter?"

Sibylla just shook her head and pointed at something behind his shoulder. Balian turned and when he saw what it was, he stood up quickly.

"Having a little rendezvous there, young man?" a husky voice said.

Balian opened his mouth to say something, but suddenly he felt someone clamp their hand on his mouth.

"Say goodbye," another voice said and Balian felt something hard collide with the back of his head.

Balian heard Sibylla scream, but as he fell to the ground, he thought desperately that he had to save her—and then knew no more.


	10. Chapter X: The Moslem King

/I don't own anything you recognize in this story. /

Chapter Ten

Waking slowly, Balian felt dizzy and distorted. Trying to get up, he only fell back down from the bindings and the sickness that suddenly swept across his whole body. Groaning, Balian rolled onto his side and nearly vomited from the pain in his head.

Looking wearily up, Balian noticed that a figure in the shadows was standing there, watching the prisoner quietly. Suddenly Balian felt a surge of anger. How _dare_ they tie him up like this—like some animal, for God's sake!

The man in the shadows laughed heartily and kicked Balian in the stomach, making Balian roll on his back, curled up in pain. If only it could stop, he'd be all right…

"I see you are awake, I am pleased," the man said gruffly, "welcome back to the world of the living."

"Where am I? Where is Sibylla?" Balians growled, struggling to get up to no avail, "answer me!"

"All in good time, sir, all in good time," the man said.

"There is no good time about it at all! I want to know now!" Balian shouted and the man laughed heartily. "Don't you know who I am?"

"Why, yes, I know you quite well. And I think you should know me well, too. We met last year, as a matter of fact," the man said.

"Oh, yeah? Then show yourself so I can see you!" Balian exclaimed.

For a moment, Balian thought that the man hadn't heard what he said. Then, finally, the man stepped out of the shadows and Balian gasped in horror when he saw whom it was. It was the Moslem king, Saladin.

"You!" Balian growled.

Saladin smiled softly. "Yes, it's me."

Balian struggled hopelessly against his bindings for a few moments before lying back on the ground, lifeless. He had no hope now if he was in the Moslems' control. What would become of him, of Sibylla, of Israel? It would all come to ruin, if he continued to lie here like an imbecile.

"Ah, I forgot my manners. Let me undo your bindings," Saladin exclaimed.

Turning to the guard at the door of the room, Saladin spoke something in a language that Balian couldn't understand. Nodding slowly, the guard walked over to the Balian and roughly pulling him to his knees, the guard cut Balian's bindings from his feet and hands. As soon as he was free, Balian roared and ran towards Saladin as fast as he could, but the guard held him back profusely.

"Now, now. I just showed you courtesy and what do you show me in return?" Saladin asked.

"Where's Sibylla?" Balian growled.

"Sibylla is safe, though I dare say she'll probably die from the lack of boredom—I don't think being locked up in a room twenty-four hours a day is too pleasant, what do you think?" Saladin exclaimed.

Balian stopped in his tracks. It horrified him that Sibylla was locked up somewhere, but if she was locked up bored with nothing to do by now, how long had he been unconscious?

As if reading his mind, Saladin laughed and said, "You're probably wondering how long you've been here."

Balian nodded silently, trying not to give the man the satisfaction of answering. There was too much at risk right now and Balian was at Saladin's mercy. No use doing or saying something that could cause tragedy accidentally.

Saladin nodded profoundly. "Quite understandably. You've been unconscious for five days now."

_Five days?_ Balian thought. _If Sibylla and I were gone that long, surely someone from home would notice and start searching for us?_

"And…where am I?" Balian asked warily.

"You are in Jerusalem. It's quite amazing how some people can travel so far in such a short amount of time," Saladin said, taking a seat in that was in the corner of the dim room.

"What do you want from me?" Balian asked, "From Sibylla, also."

Saladin twirled his dark moustache. Balian took the time to study the man who was his captor. Quite funny how he and his kind dress, really. He'd never seen such a thing and was sure that Saladin was thinking the same thing about Balian's own guard.

"When I heard that you had come back into Israel, I instantly knew that you would be a threat to my people and I. After all, you showed ruthlessness and courage the last you were here. I knew that if you came back and stayed long enough, you would get the notion to try and retake Jerusalem again. Of course, others have tried after you, but I knew that after your little crusade last year, I would fail miserably and let down my people. I'd be in ruin, you know that in your own kind, Balian, I too, have to live up to the code of chivalry. And then I found about Sibylla's predicament and I knew that would be an utter disaster if the two of you married. And so here we are," Saladin explained.

Balian shook his head. "That still doesn't explain why I'm here, Saladin. Why would taking Sibylla and I captive prevent us from marrying and becoming king and queen?"

"Obviously you don't remember the whole of Sibylla predicament," Saladin said.

Suddenly it dawned on Balian. All this man had to do was keep him and Sibylla locked up for six months and Sibylla would be kicked off the throne, shamed for life. A new, possibly weaker person would be put on the throne and eventually Saladin would be able to throat the Christian armies.

Saladin grinned and stood up. "Well, I best go, I have many other matters to attend to. Have a nice day, if you can call it one."

"But, wait—" Balian exclaimed, starting towards Saladin menacingly.

But before Balian could reach the man, Saladin smiled and left the room, the guard leaving behind him and slamming and locking the door firmly. Pounding the door loudly for several moments and yelling, Balian sunk to the ground, his back leaning against the door, hope draining from every crevice of his body. He was in trouble and he didn't have any way to help it.

**Notes:**

Code of Chivalry: During the Middle Ages, the knights were required to live up to the code of chivalry which consisted of courage, loyalty to the king, a strong faith in his beliefs, nobility, defense of the land and kingdom, and justice.


	11. Chapter XI: Mourning and a Proposal

/I don't own anything you recognize in this story. /

Chapter Eleven

"The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot." -Mark Twain

To Sibylla, the days seemed to crawl on by slowly. It was as if God had decided that now was the time that he would be in no hurry for no one, despite the person's predicaments of that moment. Soon she lost all track of time, doing nothing but sitting at the barred window, seeing nothing, wishing that someone would help her, wishing Balian were alive so that he would save her from all of this.

The door opened behind Sibylla, but she paid no head to it, it didn't matter now who came in and out of the room. After all, she was a prisoner and the captors did what they would to torment the person within to get what they wanted. Usually that's what happened, but for some unknown reason, these captors did nothing.

"I see you are awake and dressed, my lady," the voice said behind her.

Sibylla didn't turn away from the window. "One always must be awake and dressed for the day."

The man at the door crossed the room and sat down in the chair next to Sibylla. Barely glancing over, Sibylla was inwardly surprised and a little scared to see that it was Saladin, the Moslem king. She could tell from the servants that had walked in and out of this very room that they were a different people, but couldn't recognize them for who they were. Now, obviously, she knew.

"Yes, indeed," Saladin said, smiling. "One must always greet the day with all of their heart."

"I feel nothing of the sort," Sibylla retorted sourly, "why should I care about anything now?"

"Ah, mourning, I see. But for what, I wonder?" Saladin wondered out loud.

"You should know better, I thought you were good at that," Sibylla said.

"What, mourning about being in here day after day?" Saladin asked.

"No, being in here I can live with," Sibylla choked, "it's the fact that I won't be able to see Balian again. Balian, the only love that I've ever had—gone."

Tears fell down Sibylla's cheeks swiftly, and Saladin's heart immediately went out to the girl. He wished that there were another way, but a man must do his duty for the people as a whole, no matter what it brought for others. Fate stopped for no one.

"I am sorry about your loss, my lady, but mourning will not bring him back. Balian was a man without hope, a man living in the past who couldn't move foreword. He is in a better place now," Saladin exclaimed. At least part of what he said was true.

"It still does not ease the pain that I feel inside," Sibylla whispered.

Saladin started to reach out to touch Sibylla's shoulder, but quickly retracted when he realized what he was doing. The woman mustn't know of his own past that he quickly buried deep within him.

"There is a favor that I must ask of you, my lady," Saladin finally said. "One that I wish that you will think through thoroughly."

"You may ask, but it doesn't mean that I will receive," Sibylla said.

_The woman is indeed bold,_ Saladin thought, _she reminds me of my own wife I once had._

"Very well, my lady, but I'm sure you won't refuse in the coming weeks. You see, I am a man of powerful influence. And a man of influence must think of the people that he governs over. And I have come to the conclusion that my people, as well as myself are tired of the fighting over Israel," Saladin explained.

"You've got that one right," Sibylla muttered to herself, but Saladin didn't seem to hear her.

"I am sure that the Christian people are also tired of the fighting," Saladin continued, "and I've come to the conclusion that the only way to end all of this peacefully is to marry a woman of influence from the other side. One that would be a perfect match and unite the Moslems and Christians peacefully for many years to come."

"So you are saying for me to marry you and end all of this fighting?" Sibylla asked.

"Yes, my lady. You will therefore be able to rule the Christians in peace and I the Moslems. And thus we both rule Jerusalem side by side and everybody will be able to live in peace with no fighting and treat each other like brothers and sisters under the One," Saladin stated.

"This is too much," Sibylla said, feeling overcome by everything the man had said.

"As I said, think it over thoroughly, and I'll come back in the meantime to hear your answer," Saladin exclaimed, standing up. "I bid you good day, my lady Sibylla."

Sibylla watch Saladin leave silently. It would be a good match indeed, and God only knew her predicament and the mourning that she felt deep within her bones. Would Balian be angry if he knew about Saladin's proposal? Surely he would understand that this was the only way to bring peace to the land. And anyways, he would want her to move on with her life and not dwell on him.

But yet, it felt like she was doing something wrong if she accepted Saladin's proposal. It was like deserting everything that she built up with Balian; short of a time they had together, even the short separation that they allowed themselves to be under. The whole thing just felt like a deep betrayal that she couldn't explain.

Sibylla crossed the room to her narrow bed and stretched out onto it. Well, she had all the time in the world to debate her decision. Saladin would just have to wait for her answer.


	12. Chapter XII: Ransoms and Plans

/I don't own anything you recognize in this story. /

Chapter Twelve

"Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise. Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." –Proverbs 19:20-21

"Love is or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all." –Toni Morrison

John watched as a messenger ran as fast as his legs could carry him towards John. He wondered what the boy wanted, but had an inkling on what it was, for he had sent someone out to find out what happened to Sibylla and Balian. Hopefully it was just technical difficulties—the horses wouldn't cooperate, they went further than they planned, but somehow John didn't think so. In his heart, John knew that something terrible had happened, for they hadn't shown up on their planned time and hadn't been seen since in over five days.

Breathing heavily and clutching his side, the messenger skidded to a stop in front of John. John raised his eyebrows as if to say, "Get it out already." He had no patience right now, as certain people were missing. _Please be all right, Sibylla._

"I have word from Jerusalem, sir," the messenger heaved.

"Jerusalem?" John said, surprised. _What would Jerusalem have to do with anything?_ But somehow John had an inkling of what.

"Yes, sir John," the messenger exclaimed, "directly from the king of Moslems. Saladin has told you that he has captured Sibylla and Balian, just over a week ago."

_That would make it the night they left. Damn, why didn't I be more careful?_ John thought, cursing under his breath.

"What is the man's ransom?" John asked, afraid of what the messenger was going to say.

"Saladin asks for one thousand gold pieces for Balian. There will…_be no_ ransom for lady Sibylla, my lord," the messenger stated, "I am sorry."

John whirled around in a circle, cursing. Of course there'd be no ransom for Sibylla. It all made perfect sense. There was a ransom for Balian because Saladin didn't care about the boy—all he cared about was Sibylla. By releasing Balian and keeping Sibylla, the king would be able to marry Sibylla, thus uniting the Christian and Moslem faiths, and probably ultimately wiping out the whole Christian religion there in Jerusalem, throughout Israel, and ultimately through the world.

"Is there anything that we can do?" John asked the messenger, his brain already coming up with plans and ideas to rescue both Balian and Sibylla.

"I'm afraid there's nothing we can do, sir," the messenger exclaimed, "the only thing we can do is save Balian from the Moslem's clutches. Sibylla will just have to accept her fate. It will all be for the best."

John glared at the messenger so severely that John could see the messenger visibly recoil several steps. _Well, he better do that for saying such things,_ John thought.

"That won't be necessary. We're not letting _anyone_ suffer under the hands of the Moslems. I will refuse that to happen," John said.

"You do realize that this might all be a hoax, my lord John?" the messenger asked. "They both could be dead and Saladin's just putting up this façade to get some quick cash."

"Don't _ever_ say such a thing again!" John shouted. "They're alive and they need our help. We just have to figure out a plan to help them and hope they won't perish during that time."

The messenger bowed. "As you wish, my lord John. What will you have me do?"

"Well, for one thing, I want you to return to Jerusalem with the thousand gold pieces and say that we will meet the ransom for Balian. I'll be sure to send a guard with you to make sure that Saladin keeps his word."

"What about Sibylla, sir?" the messenger asked.

"As for Sibylla, I haven't thought of anything useful yet. But I will by the end of the week, God willing," John stated.

"When do I leave for Jerusalem?" the messenger asked.

"The morning after tomorrow. I want them to think that we thought this through and couldn't think of any other way to save them both and are resigned to just getting Balian. Let them think they've got the upper hand. But we'll surprise them when they think they're the safest," John said.

"Yes, my lord." The messenger bowed again and left John to his thoughts.

_Please don't give up hope yet,_ John thought, _I'll get you both out as soon as I can, sooner or later._

With that thought, John nodded soundly and hurried towards the main hall, ready to call everybody to order. They had some people to save and they couldn't wait for nothing.


	13. Chapter XIII: Something Unexpected

/I don't own anything you recognize in this story. /

Chapter Thirteen

"Today, see if you can stretch your heart and expand your love so that it touches not only those to whom you can give it easily, but also those who need it so much." -Daphine Rose Kingma

"Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart." -Confucius

The days dragged by slowly. Barely anybody came or went, only to bring him food or to interrogate him. Surely it felt like it should be months by already, but it probably wasn't, as one lost sense of time and space with nothing to do all day.

On a particular day, the prison door creaked open loudly, making Balian turn from his delirious stare out the window to see who could possibly be coming to see him at such an odd hour.

The man who came in stood and stared at the poor, pathetic prisoner wallowing away slowly at his feet. He wondered how in such a short amount of time a man could sink so deeply. The man long ago had come to the conclusion that if you trapped a man in where he didn't belong, he long gave up hope for anything.

"It is time for you to go, sir," the man said to Balian. "King Saladin is allowing you to go."

Balian glanced up at the man in unseeing, unfocused eyes, not really caring about anything. What was this man saying? Was he saying that he was allowed to go? But what brought about this change of heart in such a seemingly cold-hearted man.

"What did you say?" Balian whispered, not believing his ears.

The man sighed and shifted his feet impatiently. "The King Saladin is releasing you. Some very good…and rich friend of yours has released you from Saladin's grasp. Consider it a blessing, my friend. The king doesn't release prisoners too often."

"But Sibylla—" Balian began to ask, but the man shook his head impatiently.

"Now is not the time to be asking about the lady," the man exclaimed. "Only worry about yourself. Unless you'd rather stay as a prisoner, though I'd say it's not a very nice way to live by the looks of things."

The man strode over to where Balian sat and heaved him onto his feet. Balian stood there, legs shaking as he had not walked in many days, weeks maybe.

Slowly but surely, the man helped Balian walk out the door and down the hall. The next thing Balian knew, he was standing outside, his eyes squinting horribly against the noonday sun. Had it really been that long since he'd seen daylight that he'd be too sensitive against it?

The man released the prisoner and Balian nearly collapsed, but caught himself before he fell completely to the ground. He had to appear strong before the enemy—he didn't want them to know that he was weak.

"You're rescuers are just ahead a mile or so," the man explained, "this is where I leave you, for the king has asked me to escort you no further than here."

Balian nodded silently and began walking shakily to where he saw a dark blot in his shimmering vision. Walking for several feet, his weary legs couldn't take anymore and Balian collapsed heavily into the sand. Dimly he heard the pounding of horses' feet and stopping near him. Seeing someone jump down from the horse, Balian tried vainly to get up again, resulting only to fall down again.

"Don't try to get up, my friend, I'm here to help you," a vaguely familiar voice said. "Let me do everything for you."

Slowly, several pairs of hands grabbed Balian around the shoulders and the feet and hoisted him up onto the horse. Balian swayed slightly, grabbing the horse's mane numbly.

"Sibylla…" Balian mumbled, "I must help her, she's in trouble…"

"Don't worry, lad, Sibylla will be alright. I haven't seen a stronger woman than her. We'll be getting her in no time at all," the voice said again.

"But…Sibylla…help," Balian mumbled again and slumped over the horse's neck.

John glanced worriedly at the small group of soldiers gathered around him. They did something to Balian and by the looks of it; it wasn't good.

"It seems that this man needs help, my lord John," one of the soldiers said, "he probably won't make it back to his place."

John growled. "We're not to give up on him yet. I've come too far to allow him to die, or watch him in the act. You will try, soldier. At least take him into our camp for several days until you're sure he is strong enough to go all the way. But I don't want any giving up on your part."

The soldier bowed his head slightly before looking up again. "As you wish, sire."

"Good, then have at it. Right now, I have some business matters to attend with, I see the Moslem king isn't gong to let me go without a chat," John exclaimed, glancing at the distant people standing on guard.

"Yes, sir."

Some of the soldiers bowed and left, leading the horse with Balian unconscious on top of it, while John and the rest went the other way. This was going to be an interesting chat and all he could hope was that the meeting would go well as planned.


	14. Chapter XIV: Heated Arguements

/I don't own anything you recognize in this story. /

Chapter Fourteen

"Where hope fails, the courageous come to the front." –Unknown

For several days, the fever that had overtaken Balian raged through his body uncontrollably. The soldiers watching over him day and night threw each other fearful glances, worried that he may never recover his strength. John came in and out of camp several times, but each day he came, Balian only seemed to be getting worse. It seemed like there was no hope.

"It's no use, John," one of the soldiers said. "You might as well give up, he's going to die."

"Well, _I_ haven't given up yet," John exclaimed stubbornly. "And I'm certainly giving up now."

"Have you figured out what you were going to do about Sibylla, John?" another soldier asked hopefully.

"No, but I am still working on it, trust me," John assured the man, but deep inside he knew that he wasn't even close, and it made him feel guilty to lie to the men that he had taken responsibility for. But there was no choice in the matter. It was a give and take kind of deal.

Standing at the edge of camp that night, John stared up at the stars thoughtfully. He remembered a similar night not too long ago when he sat under the stars with the man that he had just rescued. "You feel like you could go on forever, couldn't you?" John had asked at the time. Balian, whose face had been so dark and desperate had answered, "For some it might, for others, an endless sea of uncertainty—one of vast fears and obstacles." Looking back now, John could now understand the man's words that were so thought out. He now felt guilty for laughing off Balian's wisdom, but he couldn't change what he did now.

The pounding of feet pulled John out of reverie to turn to see who was in such a hurry at this time of the night. To his distress, it was the servant boy that he had posted with Balian in case anything happened. John couldn't help but feel that the worst had come over his dear friend.

"My lord John," the boy panted, "lord Balian awakes. He seems to have broken the fever. He's weak, but he wishes to talk with you, if you were available."

"Indeed I am," John stated, striding back into camp with the boy trotting as fast as he could behind him.

Coming into where Balian lay, John could see that the man was propped up against the lone tree that they had made camp around. When Balian saw John coming nearer, he broke into a weak smile. John couldn't help but smile back.

"Hello, John," Balian said.

John nodded toward Balian as he kneeled next to the man. "It's good to see you back among the living, friend."

"Was I that bad, my friend?" Balian asked.

"I'm afraid so, Balian. But you made it through, and that's all that matters," John said, thumping Balian's shoulder.

"Yeah…that's all that matters," Balian murmured, started to wander off into his own thoughts.

"I heard that you wanted to talk to me," John said, changing the subject.

Balian glanced back up at John and sighed. "Yes, I do. I wanted to know if you had any idea in what you were doing for Sibylla. I know she's still in there with Saladin, I can feel it. I don't want to leave her there to the mercies of that man."

John sighed and sat down all the way, crossing his legs in front. He knew that he was going to be here for a long time, no matter what.

"No, I'm afraid I don't. I was thinking of taking the whole lot of them by force, but that would take a while and God knows that Sibylla doesn't have that time. She only has a little over three months to claim a husband if she wants to stay on the throne," John said bitterly.

"Then we must think of something else," Balian stated firmly, "I'm not allowing her to be in there for a moment longer than necessary."

"That I understand, Balian, but what do you suggest we do? I've 'bout run out of ideas to help her," John exclaimed.

"We could set up a trap. One where we really do fight against the Moslems, but while we've got them occupied, someone on our side can somehow sneak into Jerusalem and take by Sibylla. Then as soon as both leaves at a safe distance, they send up some kind of signal and then our army retreats, but with victory because we have gotten Sibylla back," Balian exclaimed.

John frowned. It was a sensible idea enough, but for some reason he couldn't buy it at all.

John shook his head in disagreement. "I don't know, Balian. It's a good idea in theory, but how well do you think it would work in real life?"

"Anything's possible if you can put your mind to it," Balian said stubbornly.

"I don't think it'll work Balian," John exclaimed.

"You want to get Sibylla out as much as I do, John, I know it," Balian said.

"I know that I know that, but that would be too risky and knowing Saladin, he'd figure it out before the person going in and Sibylla can get out," John said.

"But if you loved her as much as I do, John, you'd try. For the good of everybody in the kingdom," Balian so fiercely that John that he was going to fall head over heels just sitting there.

_You don't know how right you are, Balian,_ John thought, but didn't say aloud.

"Everybody loves her, but there's got to be another way—" John started.

"There _IS_ no other way, John!" Balian shouted that the whole camp fell silent, wondering how the man who was so sick just this morning was now shouting like a crazy person. Maybe the sickness had finally taken its toll. "Don't you understand? It's do this or die trying. We have to get her out of there, I'm refusing to give up hope."

"I know, Balian, I know. I'm not giving up hope either. But we have to think of something more sensible," John pleaded.

"Saladin's not," Balian said bitterly.

"He's a smart man, but unfortunately he's on the other side, daring us to fight him," John said. "We just have to find a way around him."

"The answer's sitting right in front of your face, but you're not listening to it," Balian retorted.

"But I'm telling you, Balian, that's not going to—" John began.

"Oh, I'm tired of your hopelessness. Please leave me alone now, John, I have to rest, I feel tired," Balian said.

"But, Balian—"

"_Please leave_," Balian growled.

John got to his head and bowed his head once before leaving, neither of them saying another word to one another. Neither was going to admit to being wrong, but as John walked away, all he could hope was that two of them could come to an agreement before Sibylla's time ran out.


	15. Chapter XV: The Truth Comes Out

/I don't own anything you recognize in this story. /

Chapter Fifteen

"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him." –Psalm 62:1

Standing in front of the mirror, Sibylla shook her hair and then allowed it to fall gracefully onto her shoulders, the tips resting on a long, flowing white dress that fit her perfectly. She only wished that she could feel as happy as the mirror showed.

For several days now, Sibylla had been toying with the idea of marrying Saladin. It was a perfect match, indeed. She wouldn't be kicked off the throne and it would bring peace to both the Moslems and Christians alike. She hoped, anyway.

Someone knocked the door gently and the door swung open gently. Sibylla turned from the mirror and watched as Saladin crossed the room to stand in front of her. Coming closer, Sibylla could see that the man had a soft smile upon his face.

"You look beautiful, my love," Saladin exclaimed, taking her hand. "Everyone will rejoice to see you when our wedding day arrives."

Sibylla managed a pained smile. "I'm sure they will, my lord."

Saladin pulled Sibylla closer to him. "You know you don't have to call me 'my lord' with me, Sibylla. We will be married soon, remember? Married people don't call each other by their titles."

Sibylla looked away. "I know, but it's so hard to do so. I never thought any of this would happen."

"I never thought it would happen either. When my first wife died…I thought I could never love again, it would be a betrayal to my former wife. But here I am now," Saladin smiled.

Sibylla said nothing. So Saladin felt the same way that she was feeling, as well. But why did he seem to think it was ok for her to marry so soon after Balian's death and he could have all the time in the world to mourn for his old love? It just didn't make sense, but Sibylla shook off the feeling. This was all for the best.

Saladin looked at Sibylla curiously. "Are you alright, my love?"

Sibylla nodded silently. "I'm fine. I was just thinking about Balian, was all. I still miss him."

"We cannot change the past, Sibylla. I urge you to forget about Balian," Saladin stated soberly.

"Why are you being so selfish?" Sibylla asked, suddenly angry. "Why aren't you allowing me to mourn for my past love? It's only natural, yet you want me to move on as if he had never existed."

"I'm so sorry, Sibylla. It's just that I'm so excited about the future that I'm forgetting the past," Saladin explained.

"Then why won't you let me spend time with my memories?" Sibylla stated.

"Because, I think it's time for you to move on with your life, Sibylla. Balian's gone and he'll never be able to come back. We can't spend the rest of our lives submerged in what might have been," Saladin said.

"But we can still remember the past," Sibylla said bitterly. "I wish to be alone now, Saladin. Please leave me now."

Saladin nodded and bowed slightly. "As you wish."

Sibylla watched as Saladin strode across the room and closed the door behind him. Sibylla sighed and leaned against the wall, sliding slowly to the ground. It was true, thoughts of Balian still plagued her no matter how much she tried to shake herself from them. She wanted to move on now, but it seemed impossible. What if Balian wasn't dead yet, that Saladin was just lying to her? But yet he had seemed so sincere and seemed to grieve along with her. But why, then, did he seem to act so strange just now?

After about half an hour of sitting there thinking, Sibylla finally stood up and headed out the door. There was only way to find out whether Balian died or not and that was to question the people servants of the palace.

Finally coming across a soldier in the servants' quarters, Sibylla grabbed him and pulled him close. If anyone would know about it, it was a soldier close to Saladin.

"Please, sir, I need to ask you a question," Sibylla exclaimed, "but I don't want you to tell anyone about what I'm about to tell you, _no one_."

"Anything at all, my lady," the soldier said, looking surprised and a little shocked.

"I want to know if Balian really died. Or is he still alive, unable to get to me?" Sibylla asked.

The soldier stood there in silence for several moments. Sibylla could see that he wanted to say one thing, but couldn't because something else was telling him not to. Saladin had probably told him to lie if Sibylla had ever asked him about Balian.

"Balian's still alive, isn't he?" Sibylla asked.

The soldier nodded silently. Sibylla clenched her hands together and cursed. So Saladin had been lying to her all this time just for his personal gain.

"Do you know anything else, sir?" Sibylla asked, "I promise to you that you won't get into trouble. I won't tell him that you told."

The soldier looked relieved at Sibylla's proclamation. "Saladin had put a ransom on Balian because he knew that it would be paid and get Balian off his hands. With Balian gone and you still here, Saladin would be able to say that Balian died and be able to marry you without regrets."

Sibylla closed her eyes in grief and opened them again. So the story finally came out and Sibylla's guesses will come true. Saladin only wanted to marry her and tell her lies about everything else.

Thanking the soldier, Sibylla hurried away back to her rooms. It was time to pack her things and start scheming a way to get away from this place as fast as she could. She wouldn't marry Saladin if she could help it.


	16. Chapter XVI: A Knight in Shining Armor

/I don't own anything you recognize in this story. /

Chapter Sixteen

As the days went by, Balian watched the activity passing in and out of camp. Each day he felt more and more hopeless that nobody was ever going to help Sibylla. It didn't even help that Sibylla's time to find a husband was running out ever so slowly day-by-day.

On countless occasions Balian had tried sneaking out of camp, but to no avail. John had told everyone in the camp that if they see Balian leaving to make sure that he didn't leave. Balian had even tried pleading with John several times, but it didn't work. Everybody just thought he was too weak to do anything worthy.

Balian wandered around camp, not really seeing anything, not really caring, either. As he passed one soldier after another, he heard them calling out to him to remember not to wander out of camp. It was as if they thought he wasn't going to remember. Too bad for them that his memory was working perfectly.

"Balian!" Balian turned around and saw John come running towards him in full sprint. Balian sighed and stopped where he was, feeling extremely irritated. _Now_ what did he do?

"What is it, John?" Balian asked as the man skidded to a stop.

John shrugged. "I was just wondered where you were going, was all."

Now Balian was really irritated. "Look, John, I'm not some child that needs be looked over every single minute of the day. I can take care of myself."

"I know that, Balian, but you've been sick for the past week and a half and I don't want you to get any worse than you already are," John confronted.

"Well, you can stop your worrying, now, ok? I've been feeling loads better and I've been beginning to get my strength back. I can take care of myself now," Balian reassured John.

John was doubtful when he saw Balian wobble slightly, nearly falling but catching himself again. The man was so stubborn, yet so determined. John wished he had half that much that Balian carried around everywhere.

"I'm still not so sure, Balian. You need your rest," John stated.

"Sibylla doesn't get rest, does she? Nobody does in the hands of those men," Balian retorted angrily.

"Balian, we've already been through all of this. No matter how hard you try, you're not going to be strong enough to fight in the battle with us. Nor try to sneak in and save Sibylla. It will be the death of you," John said.

"Won't it be the death of all of us?" Balian asked. "What about all those great warriors of the past? They didn't get nowhere by staying at home because they thought it'd be the death of them. No, they continued on."

"But this isn't the past, Balian, nor are we the warriors from it," John exclaimed. "As much as we want to believe it, it will never be."

"Ye of so little faith," Balian growled under his breath, but didn't say anything louder for John's benefit.

After several moments of silence, John finally turned back towards the center of camp. All these men depended on him to make the right decision. But what _was_ the right decision? There seemed to be no easy answer anywhere.

"If I take your suggestion, Balian, who would be strong enough, or bold enough to be able to go in there and save Sibylla? It's a fool's run, and not everybody will be willing to take it, or risk it for that matter," John finally said.

"I would, John. I would do anything for Sibylla's sake," Balian stated.

John didn't say anything, just stared gloomily on. "Don't I know that well? I wish helping her would be so simple, yet it is not. What am I to do?"

Balian walked over to John and placed a hand on his shoulder. "If you take my advice, there might still be some more hope."

John gave a weary smile. "You are so full of hope and determination, Balian d'Ibelen. I wish I had at least half of what you have."

"You already do. You just have to look deep within yourself. And anyways, I think you are already using it, though you might not know it," Balian said simply.

"Easy for you to say," John muttered to himself. Glancing over to Balian, John smiled. "Thanks Balian."

"For what?" Balian asked.

John shrugged. "For everything. For inspiring me, for showing determination to help save Sibylla. I think you've given me inspiration."

Balian shook his head in embarrassment. "Oh, I don't think so. I'm just a simple blacksmith trying to save the woman he loves."

"Oh, I think you're more than that, Balian," John said, "you are the knight in shining armor to save everyone within sight. But alas, I have stayed too long and said too much. I am needed elsewhere. Please forgive me, Balian, for leaving you right now."

Balian shook his head. "I am not at a loss. Please, go ahead, I've taken up too much of your time as it is. I have my own things to tend to."

The two of them said goodbye to each and each went their separate ways. Balian smiled to himself as he went back to his own little spot in camp, feeling fully satisfied. Finally, he was getting somewhere with John. Maybe there was hope for Sibylla after all.


	17. Chapter XVII: Plans Played Out

/I don't own anything you recognize in this story. /

Chapter Seventeen

"What a blessing it would be if we could open and shut our ears as easily as we open and shut our eyes!" –Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

"You _lied to me_!" a shrilly voice rose through the halls of the palace. Saladin winced as he recognized stormy face coming toward him. Somehow he knew that Sibylla had found out about Balian.

Sibylla came to a heaving stop with her hands clenched and breathing hard. Saladin could almost see the smoke coming out the top of her head. So much for that little measure of secrecy and now he had to explain everything. Maybe.

"Now, Sibylla, let's not get ahead of ourselves," Saladin stated half-heartedly.

"I'm not getting ahead of _myself_," Sibylla yelled. "I want to know why you lied to me about Balian being dead! I found out from a source that you let him go."

Saladin gritted his teeth and tapped his foot. He was in a right fix now and he couldn't lie again or he'd be deeper in the hole before he knew it. Oh, how he wished he knew who told Sibylla about Balian so he could wrap his hands around their scrawny neck. But in all actuality, he probably wouldn't find out, Sibylla was too smart to tell him who it was.

"Because I want to marry you, Sibylla. You remind me of my former wife and you've brought me so much happiness that I've never known since then," Saladin explained. "Surely you can't blame a poor man for falling in love."

"But you still lied and I should've known that's all I should've expected from someone like you. After all, you _are_ the enemy," Sibylla spat. "I want you to release me now."

Just then, a man appeared, running as fast as he could. Reaching Saladin and Sibylla, he stopped. Saladin raised his eyebrows as if to say, "What's the matter now?"

"There's an army just outside the Jerusalem walls, my lord," the man exclaimed, bowing slightly. "The soldiers on the wall say it's the Christian armies. The captain wishes for orders from you, sir."

Saladin cursed. So the Christian armies weren't going to be satisfied with receiving just Balian. He should have known that this was coming, but now it was too late. Glancing over at Sibylla, Saladin noticed an odd shining of hope in her eyes. This news was obviously a message of hope to her.

"Assemble the armies and do what you can in the time allotted to you, but don't fire until I reach the wall. As for you, Sibylla," Saladin turned to the woman, his eyes flashing, "you are to go to your rooms and stay there. I do not wish you to be hurt."

"Do you honestly expect me to obey you when I know that my rescuers are outside for me?" Sibylla asked, "that is madness. I'm going to leave and try to reach them, thank you very much."

"I'm sorry that you don't have any say in the matter," Saladin informed her. Turning to the man, he said, "Seize her. And make sure that she stays in her chambers. Lock the doors if you have to."

"Yes, sir," the man exclaimed and grabbed Sibylla by the arms and began to drag her away.

Sibylla began to yell and scream. "You can't do this, Saladin! I'm a powerful woman, I'll have your head for this, you just wait and see!"

Saladin watched her disappear around the corner, his heart breaking. Why did everything have to come down to this? He shook his head sadly. Well, if he wanted to help his people, he'd have to fight.

Turning towards the opposite direction, Saladin started outside toward the wall. It was time to fight for his beliefs, no matter what the consequences.

It had been hours since Balian watched John lead the army away towards Jerusalem early this morning. The only people left was a messenger boy in case he needed anything and a couple guards to make sure Balian didn't leave and follow after the army. It was so painful just waiting and wondering what was happening out there.

Before they left, Balian had begged John to allow him to go with them; John had opted against it, saying Balian was too weak to go. Someone much stronger than Balian would be able to save Sibylla and Balian wasn't that person.

"I wonder if they've reached the Jerusalem yet," one of the soldiers said out loud.

Balian said nothing. He didn't really want to have a conversation at the moment. Everything right now made him nervous than he ought to be. He hoped they were there and getting ready to fight for Christianity and for Sibylla.

The guard looked at Balian curiously. "You don't speak much, do you?"

The second guard laughed. "Maybe he's dumb. You see them from time to time. Those kind like him don't like speaking much because they know their stupid."

Balian growled. "Watch what you're saying."

"Ah, so you're not deaf after all. We finally see the side of Balian that John had kept saying he respected all this time. So you're not dumb and stupid after all."

This was too much. Balian let out a roar of anger and tackled the soldier. Letting out a yell of surprise the soldier tried pulling Balian off. Finally knocking the man unconscious, Balian felt a pair of hands pull on him tightly. It was the other soldier.

"What are you doing, you son of a—" the soldier began, but suddenly Balian heard a thump and the soldier fell to the ground beside his comrade.

Looking down, Balian saw the messenger boy, still clutching a second rock. Balian gave a small smile and the boy smiled back.

"I thought you might need some help, lord Balian," the boy said. "I wouldn't have taken all of what they said, either."

"I just hope they'll wake up," Balian said worriedly, "I wouldn't want to turn John against me."

The boy shook his head. "No, they're just knocked out, is all. They'll wake up in a couple of hours."

Balian nodded. "Well, that'll give me enough time to reach Jerusalem. It's only about half an hour or so from here, by foot."

"Well, before you go, let's put them under the tree so they won't fry," the boy said and Balian nodded, the two of them beginning to drag the two soldiers toward the tree.

After finally putting them safely under the tree, Balian stood and stretched his stiff arms. Those men were not light. The boy beside Balian studied him thoroughly.

"You going to Jerusalem now, lord Balian?" the boy asked.

Balian nodded. "Yes. There's no other choice but to go. I have to get Sibylla or I'll never rest peacefully."

"Well, I'm going with you. You might need help," the boy said. "My name's Eamon."

Balian smiled. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Eamon. And I'm glad you'll be coming with me. It'll sure make the trip faster."

Eamon nodded and soon the two of them gathered a small amount of things to take with them and were soon off. Balian was glad that he was finally doing something to help Sibylla and during the walk, all he could think was that he hoped that he'll arrive in time before it was too late.


	18. Chapter XVIII: A Long Awaited Battle

/I don't own anything you recognize in this story. /

Chapter Eighteen

"True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." –Jason Jordan

After what seemed like hours, Sibylla finally stopped pounding and screaming at her door and slid to the floor, feeling that all hope was lost for the time being. Now what was she to do? She didn't really want to wait for everybody to save her. But what to do, she didn't know and it didn't look like she could do anything about it.

Sidling to the window, Sibylla watched army up on the wall and down below, some pacing some leaning against trees and buildings. It was like they were half bored. Suddenly Sibylla heard a yell and immediately recognized the voice to be John. They had finally come.

"John, John!" Sibylla screamed through the window and some of the soldiers near her window sniggered. The door behind her opened as the guard rushed over and clamped a hand over Sibylla's mouth.

"You _dare_ scream out in such a fashion," the man growled. "You'll be the death of us, you will, and I'll not have it, you filth."

Sibylla squirmed fitfully. The man was clutching her so tight that she couldn't breath. Finally, after what seemed like eternity, the man dropped Sibylla to the ground and Sibylla gasped in surprise.

"Keep that hole in your mouth shut," the man said and went back out, slamming the door behind him.

Sibylla continued to stay where the soldier had thrown her, too shocked to do anything. She couldn't have expected anything less, but she still couldn't believe that a man would hurt a woman like that. Sibylla had heart stories where women were beaten to the ground and left there to die and worse tales, but she never really paid attention to them. She had never had to face such horrors in her every day life and now she understood why so many people went to churches and sanctuaries to protect themselves from their abusive husbands. They had no other choice to help keep their lives.

John stood warily as Saladin came foreword with his man of guards about him. This was the moment that John had been waiting for, to negotiate with Sibylla's captor and to be glorified forever. He wouldn't have to fight ever again after this.

Saladin stopped in front of John and nodded in acknowledgement. "So it's finally come down to this, has it? I was afraid that this might happen."

"Let Sibylla go and you'll never have to be plagued by me ever again," John said firmly.

"Oh, I don't believe it," Saladin stated, "you Christians will continue to come and fight for Jerusalem while both sides will lose countless numbers every day. And I'm afraid I can't let Sibylla go. She has already made a commitment to me to become my wife."

"She would never do that willingly," John said angrily. "She loves another already."

Saladin smiled. "I know she does. Have I not already worked that part out? You see, my plan is already well under way."

"Not unless you die first," John growled.

"So noble. It's too bad they'll only remember _you_ in legends, John," Saladin exclaimed, "and I'll be remembered as the greatest man who ever lived to be able to bring peace to both the Moslems and Christians."

"That will never happen, not while I still have breath within me," John said.

"Well, it looks like I'll have no other choice. We will fight, as you wish, John, but do not expect mercy. Let it begin," Saladin said and headed back within Jerusalem.

John headed back to his own troops, who were standing, waiting for John patiently to bring back news and to tell them what to do. Stopping in front of the army, John let his gaze sweep across the silent men. So many of them were so young, yet here they were, ready to do what they believed was right.

"Some of you," John began, "will never see the light of another day after today. Some of you will have wounds so great that you'll never be able to move freely again forever. But let you remember that today will be a day that you—and many others will remember forever. A woman of whom we all love is trapped within these here walls, unable to free herself because of the kind of people who run this holy city. We are here to help her, for now and for all time. For Christianity, for all time. Let us go now!"

"For all time!" the men shouted.

"Let us move foreword!" John shouted and turning, led the army toward the walls of Jerusalem, for battle.

Squinting through the hot desert sand, Balian could just make out the shimmering walls of Jerusalem. Feeling a sense of emotion rising within him, Balian began to hurry ahead with Eamon following behind him.

"We're almost there," Balian exclaimed excitedly. "By God, we're almost there."

"Balian—I think the battle has already begun," Eamon stated and Balian came to a stop, allowing them so rest.

Looking at where Eamon was pointing, Balian could just make out a huge mass of people. They had indeed started the battle already. Breathing deeply, Balian turned to Eamon.

"Well, we'll just have to go around. We'll be less noticed that way," Balian stated.

"But if we go straight into the battle, we'll be less noticed as they'll think we're just part of the army," Eamon pointed out.

"Yeah, but we cannot risk ourselves being killed in the battle before we even reach the walls. We'll have to go around until we find another side to get it. The other parts of the city will be less guarded that way—less likely to be noticed. Understand?" Balian exclaimed.

Eamon shrugged. "As you wish."

Balian nodded. "Good. That's settled then. Let's be on our way."

The two of them continued on their way, avoiding the main battle. Finally coming to the side of the wall that wrapped around Jerusalem, Balian and Eamon leaned against the wall wearily, panting and breathing hard.

Glancing over at Balian, Eamon said, "Now what do we do?"

Listening to the battle cries on the other side, Balian stood thinking. Such a lot of effort for one small woman. But to Balian, it was all worth the effort. Looking to his right, Balian noticed a small door; one that looked like was used for the servants. Balian nodded toward the door.

"We go in through that door," Balian stated.

Eamon nodded and the two of them crept quietly toward the door. Assured that no one was in the room, the two of them quickly went in and found themselves in the kitchens.

"Now where do we go?" Eamon asked.

"Just follow me and keep quiet and do what I say," Balian said, feeling slightly weak from the excursion of just nearly running through the desert this whole time.

Finding the door out of the kitchens, Balian headed towards the bedchambers. All places of high nobility were built the same and if his assumptions were correct, they were never going a quicker path.

Dozing by the window with the sounds of fighting outside, Sibylla awoke suddenly, yet she didn't know why. Something or someone was just below her window. Glancing out the window, though, Sibylla couldn't see anyone.

"Whoever it is out there, show yourself!" Sibylla called out, feeling a little scared.

"Sh, Sibylla, it's me. I'm trying to save you and I can't risk you compromising me," a voice said directly under her window.

Glancing downward, Sibylla's heart gave a leap. It was Balian and he had come to save her life.


	19. Chapter XVIX: Desperate Chances

/I don't own anything you recognize in this story. /

Chapter Nineteen

"Restore me to the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." –Psalm 51:12

Standing just under the window, Balian looked up at Sibylla. He couldn't say how much of a relief it was to see her again, but now wasn't the time to lament over his feelings. All he cared about was getting her out safely.

"Balian! I'm so glad to see you…you don't know how much I've gone through, wondering where you were," Sibylla exclaimed.

"Well, we'll have time for the stories later, I just want you out safely right now," Balian stated.

Eamon nudged Balian and the man looked down upon the boy. There seemed to be fear in the boy's eyes yet Balian couldn't know about what.

"Surely you don't expect to go inside and try to save her? You really are too weak. And you can't expect her to jump out the window, she'd hurt herself without help and you wouldn't be able to grab her safely," Eamon said in a low voice, his eyes showing the fear in his voice.

"I will do what I must, Eamon. I can't allow her to be in there for a moment longer," Balian exclaimed angrily.

"Then let me go in there…I'm strong enough," Eamon stated, "just lift me up in there and I'll be able to help her."

"I—" Balian began but looking at Eamon and then looking back up at Sibylla's desperate face, wondering what they were doing, he shut his mouth and nodded. "As you wish. I don't know what good that would do."

"Well, you can go around to get inside and then while you and the guard are fighting, Sibylla and I can get out," Eamon said logically.

Balian sighed and nodded in agreement. That was the only good plan they had so far and they couldn't delay another moment. Creeping over to the window, Balian hoisted the boy up as Eamon scrambled through the window with the help of Sibylla.

"Now what?" Sibylla asked the boy as he caught his breath.

"Balian's going to do a bit of distracting," Eamon commented.

Just then, Sibylla noticed a shadow outside moving stealthily and it certainly wasn't Balian. Realizing who it was, Sibylla screamed.

"Balian, watch out!" Sibylla yelled, fighting towards the window with Eamon's desperate attempts to stop her.

Balian, hearing Sibylla scream, turned quickly around to see what she was screaming about. Seeing a figure creeping towards him, Balian suddenly recognized who it was. It was Saladin.

"You evil traitor!" Balian screamed and pulling a sword out ran towards the Moslem king, not caring about what happened to him. All that mattered was killing the man who made him weak and imprisoned Sibylla.

Just before Balian reached the man, Saladin stepped aside and watched with grim satisfaction as Balian stumbled and fell to the ground. He had given Balian the chance once to be free and a man who continuously provoked being attacked deserved no better.

Struggling to his knees, Balian glared up at Saladin. "Traitor."

"I am no traitor. Just your enemy," Saladin exclaimed.

Two pairs of hands seized Balian from behind. Balian struggled helplessly. It didn't help that he was weak and his captors had a stronger advantage than he at the moment.

"What shall we do with him, sire?" one of the captors asked.

"Take him to the walls. His people should see the traitor that for so long they had so long looked up to. Hopefully it will stop the fighting for a while. One _does_ get tired of fighting after a while," Saladin said grinning and the three of them left, with Balian struggling to be free along with them—to no avail.

Watching them leave, Sibylla turned to Eamon angrily. "Now what do we do? We can't just let them kill Balian in front of millions while we sit here not doing anything."

Eamon sat on the narrow bed, his head in his hands. Everything that they had planned was all to waste. Raising his face, Eamon looked deep into Sibylla's eyes, his face showing defeat.

"I'm afraid there's nothing we can do, my lady Sibylla," Eamon murmured. "We're stuck here with our fate."

Sibylla growled and grabbed Eamon by the collar. "Don't preach to me about fate, damnit. Some of us aren't that hopeless yet. Get me out of here, now, or face the consequences if we ever do get out."

Eamon scrambled to his feet, completely surprised at Sibylla's reaction. "As you wish, my lady, but I don't know what to do. Balian had all the ideas."

"Ever heard of jumping out the window?" Sibylla asked saucily, putting her hands to her hips.

"But, my lady, surely—" Eamon began.

"Just get down there and help me when I jump out," Sibylla growled, pointing angrily to the window.

Eamon sighed and nodded. Well, if one were desperate enough, they'd do anything. And now it looked like it was going to be the only way to survive.

"As you wish, my lady Sibylla," Eamon exclaimed and soon he was scrambling down the window, hoping that both of them would get out alive.


	20. Chapter XX: Escape and Freedom

/I don't own anything you recognize in this story. /

Chapter Twenty

"For it is God's will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men. Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover up for evil; live as servants of God." –1 Peter 2:15-16

Balian struggled desperately against Saladin all the way towards the prisoners' quarters to no avail. He felt a rising panic welling up in his throat, but there wasn't anything he could do. His fading strength was no match to Saladin's perfect strength. Wasn't there anything that he, Balian, could do to stop himself from dying in the hands of the enemy?

"I don't know why you're resisting, so, Balian," Saladin exclaimed, "we gave you a chance at life once before, but now you've forsaken it and now you pay the price."

"I will _not_ be free while I know that the love of my life's trapped in your hands," Balian gritted between his teeth, still thrashing violently.

"So noble, so valiant, but I do believe you're time is running out, my dear friend," Saladin said.

"Why can't you just let Sibylla go? I don't care what happens to me, just as long as she goes free," Balian said, his attempts for freedom getting less and less frequent.

"No, I can't, she, like you, is a prisoner of war and she will remain here until one side or another wins," Saladin.

Balian growled, but he knew that it couldn't have been anything else. At least Eamon was with Sibylla right now. They would think of something—he knew they had the wits to think of something.

"I thought you were supposed to be up on the wall, defending Jerusalem with the rest of the men. Some leader you are, Saladin," Balian said, trying anything to slow the man down.

"I left my first lieutenant in charge. They will survive until I come back," Saladin exclaimed, "now, you listen here, you better shut your mouth or you'll find yourself dead before you know what hit you."

Thinking it was better to keep his mouth shut, Balian remained quiet the rest of the journey.

--

"Come on, you lousy stench, hurry up before we lose them," Sibylla growled between her teeth towards Eamon, who had gotten himself tangled up in a shrug that they were hiding in.

"I'm sorry, but you're not giving me much help here," Eamon growled back.

"Oh!" Sibylla said exasperatedly and yanked Eamon to his feet and continued on with the boy following in her wake.

As they walked on silently, Sibylla felt a mortal dread rising from the pit of her stomach. _Please don't be dead,_ Sibylla prayed silently. _Please don't kill my lord Balian._ Finally coming around the corner towards the prison, Sibylla saw Saladin and Balian disappear through the stone doors. Sibylla sighed with relief, knowing that they still had a chance at getting at Balian before it was too late. Balian had probably fought the whole way here. _Keep fighting, Balian,_ Sibylla thought, and hurried onward.

--

It seemed as if they had been fighting for ages. The men were getting weary; John could see it in their eyes, yet they continued to fight. He shouldn't have felt proud of that, but he couldn't help it. A good soldier wouldn't do anything less than to fight until death. But was it worth killing all the men for a vain cause? John shook his head. He was going to leave Sibylla there to her death.

A soldier, who was fighting next to John, shouted over the din of the noise.

"Sir John, this is hopeless! We should turn back before we all perish in the sun!"

John shook his head. "No, we keep fighting! Remember what you're fighting for, man!"

The soldier looked disgruntled but continued to fight. He would never disobey the leader of the army. John turned back to the man he was fighting and after several moments, succeeded in knocking him to the ground and advancing to the next person.

He never heard the call of warning—he was too busy in his own battles. Finally hearing something, John turned around and was face to face with one of the enemy. By the time it clicked in his mind on what to do, the man had raised his sword and plunged it deeply into John's shoulder.

John screamed in pain and he heard others around him yell in shock and apprehension. Twisting sideways, he felt himself fall down to the ground but not before being thrust sideways, out away from the battle where he fell heavily with a cry of pain.

It was the worst pain he ever felt in his life. He was going to die; he could feel every part of his body burning in rage and protest. He was going to die and he hadn't even saved Sibylla yet. What were people going to remember of him now? A loser, who couldn't save one of his own? He hoped not, but he felt sure that was going to happen. Slowly, John slipped into unconsciousness and knew no more.

--

Slamming the prison door shut behind Balian, Saladin laughed heartily. Balian groaned and struggled to get to his knees to glare up at the man who put him here again. How could people be reduced to such evil as torturing people to no end?

"Well, here you are again, Balian," Saladin exclaimed. "I hope the place makes you feel at home, because this is where you'll be until you die, I am sure."

"You—you—evil—" Balian sputtered, but the man only laughed.

"I would save your breath if I were you, Balian," Saladin said, "you may need it for evil."

Balian watched as Saladin left the building and felt his heart sinking. He was right, there was no escaping now, no people to save him from his fate. He was here until he died.

--

As Saladin left, a small hand gently grabbed the keys hanging at Saladin's waist without the man ever feeling it and hurried silently away. Reaching the shadows just inside the prison, Eamon hurried over to Sibylla.

"I got the keys. He didn't even feel a thing," Eamon informed Sibylla as they hurried down to where Balian sat captive.

"Good," Sibylla murmured.

Hearing loud steps moving down the hallway, Balian raised his gaze slightly. Were there so much excitement in the prison when a battle was raging on? His gaze turned into shock when he saw Sibylla and Eamon appear in front of the bars. Quickly getting up, Balian hurried over to the front of the cell.

"Sibylla, Eamon, but how—" Balian asked, too stunned to say anything.

"Don't speak now, Balian, we must hurry now," Sibylla said.

Finding the right key for the cell, Sibylla unlocked the door and swung it open. Striding out of the cell, Balian swept Sibylla into his arms and gave a gently, lingering kiss on the lips. A bundle of emotions exploded in Sibylla's chest. This was the moment that she was waiting for but—

"Now's not the time, Balian," Sibylla said as she pulled away from Balian.

Balian nodded. "Let us go, then. Our time here is no more."

And with that, the three of them left the prison and headed toward the edge of Jerusalem.


	21. Chapter XXI: Sweet Reunion

/I don't own anything you recognize in this story. /

Chapter Twenty-One

"Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night." –Psalm 1:1-2

Staggering away from the city, Balian collapsed with exhaustion and pain onto the sandy ground. Sibylla knelt by his side as Eamon watched on. Looking wearily up, Balian could see the worry and concern etched deep in Sibylla's face. Stroking her face gently, Balian smiled a small smile.

"I'm ok, Sibylla, I just need some rest, that's all," Balian stated.

"I know, Balian, you don't need to say anything more," Sibylla said softly.

Several moments of silence, Balian sat up quickly and began moving towards the corner of the city. Sibylla stood and followed him from behind.

"What's the matter, Balian?" Sibylla asked.

"It's too quiet. It shouldn't be this quiet," Balian exclaimed.

Sibylla stared at Balian, confused, and cocked her head. "What do you mean? I don't understand."

Balian turned back to Sibylla. "There's a battle going on. Isn't it a bit odd that you don't hear anything? Anything at all?"

Sibylla fell silent and listened, as well. It _was_ a little odd that there wasn't so much as a shout or the clanging of swords in battle. Moving to Balian, Sibylla clutched his arm tightly.

"Does that mean they've retreated?" she asked softly.

"It certainly seems that way," Balian answered.

"Balian!" Eamon called out, his voice panicked, "come quickly!"

Balian turned and saw Eamon bending over a body on the ground. Heart pounding, Balian hurried over to where the boy was standing with Sibylla following in his wake. When he finally came over, Balian felt his heart break as he sank down to the ground beside the body. It was John.

"Oh, no," Sibylla cried as she realized who it was as she hurried over. "Please let him be alive…Balian, do something. He just can't be…"

Balian didn't answer; he was in too much of a shock. He had come to see John as a brother—someone to look up to. Yes, he had been too harsh with the man more times than not and apologized even less, but somehow Balian always knew that John would always be there and now here was the greatest man ever to live, broken.

The only sound that broke the silence was Sibylla's heart-wrenching sobs and Eamon's grunts of grief. Balian said nothing—he simply folded his hands in his lap and looked down on the face of his best friend. It was very simple act that he did at his wife's grave so many times before back home. Now it was reserved for his friend.

A simple groan emitted from John several moments later got everyone to scramble around him and Balian felt his heart soar as he scooted closer and helped sit the struggling John to sit up. He was alive!

"Balian," John said hoarsely. "I knew you'd be here for me. They said you'd come to rescue me…"

"Of course they did," Balian smiled, not caring what John's words meant.

"Balian, I want to go home…take me home," John said.

Balian nodded and slowly pulled the wobbling John to his feet. Turning to Eamon, Balian motioned for Eamon to come over and help him with John.

"Sibylla, you don't feel vulnerable with all of us preoccupied, do you?" Balian asked.

Sibylla smiled and shook her head. "Of course not. Let's go home now."

Balian broke into a broad grin. "Lead us home, then."

Sibylla came over and gave Balian a kiss on the cheek and soon they were on their way back.

--

Back at camp, everyone was gathered around one huge campfire that night. They were telling stories as they usually did, but tonight, the stories brought grief and sadness. They were telling stories of John, Balian, and Sibylla.

Suddenly, one of the outside guards came hurrying into camp. Everyone turned their heads to the man, wondering what was wrong this time. It would be a horrible ending to an already sad day if there were a sad attack on them tonight.

"It's Balian and John and Sibylla!" cried the guard man, "they have returned! It's by the grace of God, surely!"

Turning behind him, he gently helped John into camp and behind him, Balian escorting the lady Sibylla.

A loud cheer erupted throughout the camp and soon everybody surrounded the three people who came back from the dead. Getting them comfortable around the fire, the whole camp erupted into a party. Several hours, with the party still going on, Balian snuck away from everybody else. Noticing his leaving, Sibylla got up and melted away from the crowd.

"Don't like parties, Balian? They're doing this whole thing for you, you know," Sibylla said when she found Balian.

Balian turned to the woman and smiled. Sibylla was so beautiful, especially tonight with the stars reflecting into her eyes and whole face.

"Not just me, but for all time," Balian replied.

"Of course." Sibylla walked over to Balian and rested her head on his shoulder. "You know it was really a gift of God that we made it—that John made it, especially. I didn't know that we'd survive."

"A gift of God, you say?" Balian looked down into her face and smiled. "I believe you are a gift of God, Sibylla. You're my gift of God."

"Am I? I hardly think so, Balian. I'm just a simple woman who's going to be kicked off the throne. Today's the last day that I can proclaim my husband. It's been six months," Sibylla said sadly.

"But it's still not too late to tell them, Sibylla," Balian said.

"How can I? The only person that I've ever loved won't have me," Sibylla exclaimed, feeling choked up.

"No, I don't think so." Balian pulled away from Sibylla and lifted her chin up so she could look into his eyes. "I love you so much, Sibylla, that you would hardly know. I've loved you since I first let my eyes gaze upon you. I'm sorry for everything that I did for the past six months. Sibylla, will you marry me?"

Sibylla gasped in surprise. She couldn't believe that Balian had finally asked her the question. So long she had waited for this moment and now that it was here she couldn't believe that it was actually here.

"Yes, of course I'll marry you, Balian. But…Balian, what made you change? You told me you never wanted to become king," Sibylla stated.

"When I realized that so many depended on me, that I was what everybody needed it and that I enjoyed helping others," Balian said, smiling a soft smile. "And because I've learned that I must move on and let my past rest in the past."

"Of course." Sibylla snuggled close to Balian. "Because you were appointed by God to do this. Everything happened for a reason."

Balian said nothing and slowly bent down and kissed Sibylla gently on the lips and soon they sunk into the ground, letting their passion spread across their whole being. There wasn't anything else that Balian wanted to do or go. This was where Balian wanted to be forever, with Sibylla. Nothing else mattered.


	22. Epilogue: The Beginning of the End

/I don't own anything you recognize in this story. /

Epilogue

"True love never lives happily ever after—true love has no ending." –K. Knight

"You are now crowned king."

Those words still resonated throughout Balian, even after a year of being king. Throughout the year he had gone throughout the lands that were his and made sure everything went smoothly. He never wanted anybody to be dissatisfied or unhappy. But the person that he put above everybody else was his wife, Sibylla.

When they had announced that they were to be married, everybody had gone into a frenzy. There seemed to be parties every night and endless plans to get ready for the special day. But it was all well worth it.

On the day of the wedding, it seemed as if the whole country was there. As they walked down the aisle, Balian couldn't have helped but grin broadly around at everybody and shake hands with them afterwards. Now here he was with the best life he could ever have imagined in his life.

Riding up to his home in England, Balian jumped down from his horse and took a deep breath looking around. Finally, he was getting used to, and finally loving the fresh, crisp air and the wide-open spaces of England. If this is where Sibylla wanted to be, this is where they were going to live.

"Balian!"

Balian turned towards the front door of the castle where he resided and saw Sibylla rushing down the steps towards him. Balian grinned and began running towards her, as well. As they got closer, Balian swept Sibylla up into his arms and spun her around, holding her close.

"You're finally home!" Sibylla exclaimed, pulling away from Balian and gazing lovingly into his eyes.

Balian smiled softly as he wrapped an arm around Sibylla's waist. "Yes, I'm finally home, and it's good to be back among friendly faces."

"Any news about Israel?" Sibylla asked as they headed up the steps.

Balian shook his head. "The king no longer has the finances to support more raids. I'm afraid our fight was for naught."

"At least we have each other. And I'm glad we're no longer fighting, it was a hopeless cause," Sibylla stated.

"Of course. But we still have our home in Israel if you ever wish to return, my love," Balian said.

Sibylla fell in silent thoughtfulness, but then shook her head fervently. "I don't think I ever wish to return to Israel, Balian. The sight of all that sand will bring back too many memories…memories I don't wish to remember."

Balian nodded and the two of them entered through the front doors silently. Stopping at the front of the grand staircase, Sibylla turned to Balian and gazed up at him, her eyes shining brightly that her whole face seemed to glow.

"Balian, I must tell you something," Sibylla exclaimed, "something that can't wait any longer."

Balian looked down at her in concern. "What is it, Sibylla? Is it anything wrong? Can I do anything to fix it?"

Sibylla smiled and shook her head. "No, it's nothing like that. Balian, I…oh, Balian, soon in the near future, a little one will be entering our family. That's what I wanted to tell you."

Balian broke out into a wide grin. "I'm going to be a father?"

Sibylla, unable to contain herself, grinned broadly and nodded fervently. "Yes, Balian, it is true."

Balian let out a whoop and swept Sibylla up into his arms and spun her around in a circle. Sibylla squealed happily and clung tightly to Balian's shoulders. Setting her down, Balian looked deep into her eyes and kissed her gently on the lips before pulling away again.

"Does John know of this yet?" Balian asked.

Sibylla shook her head. "Nobody knows. I wanted you to be the first to know about it."

"Well, then, let's go tell him then, and tell everyone we know about it!" Balian exclaimed.

"You lead the way, then," Sibylla said.

Balian smiled and nodded and grabbing her hand, the two of them hurried off, telling everybody they could about the new child. Upon hearing the news, John let out a yell of triumph and had said that it was the gift of God that everything turned out for the better for the two of them. He couldn't have said it better than that.

Balian and Sibylla lived the rest of their lives between England and France, their lives spent into the courts of both countries. They adopted Eamon into their family and grew up into a well-respected knight. Balian and Sibylla never returned to Israel.

John never fully recovered from the battle at Jerusalem and spent the rest of his days in England, spending many years in the king's court. He died in London at the age of eighty-four.

--

**Notes:**

This story has come a long way from since I first started writing this, and I must say that I've enjoyed writing this and looked foreword to updating it every day. But this story, like all other stories, couldn't be written, and certainly not finished without the reviewers. I want to especially thank _lateBloomer04_ for reviewing every chapter that I ever updated and kept up with the story and was patient throughout though it seemed very trying at times. I also want to thank _Ella_ for giving me that first review and inspire me to continue writing this story.

From here, I don't know what I'm going to write. I'm probably going to update some more of my seemingly endless stories that I've story yet never seem to be finished, or write another story to the store of others that I have. I hope everyone will be patient while I attempt to write and balance my other aspects of my life. Once again, thanks to all those who have reviewed and I hope you continue enjoying my stories and I'll continue writing.


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